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Oh, Sh*t: Browns Use Men’s Wipes to Tease New Helmet Unveiling

So here’s some NFL news that I didn’t see coming: The Browns will apparently be unveiling a new helmet design tomorrow, July 18. And they teased the announcement with a product placement for the leading (only?) brand of men’s wet wipes.

I mean, when you consider their team name and main color, I guess you’d have to say that this is on-brand, right?

As for the helmet: I’m assuming that it will be white, so that they can have a historically accurate throwback. They wore a 1946 throwback in 2021 but had to go with an orange helmet because of the one-shell rule (additional photos here):

The original uniform, however, had white helmets:

So that’s almost certainly what the Browns will be announcing tomorrow. I suppose they could be launching a new brown alternate helmet, but that wouldn’t really fit with the wet-wipes theme in the teaser video.

The Browns’ upcoming announcement adds to what’s shaping up as a busy day for the NFL uni-verse, as the Vikings are expected to unveil throwbacks tomorrow.

(My thanks to our own Alex Hider, who was the first to alert me to the Browns’ teaser video.)

Comments (17)

    I’m so happy that dudes like me have a wet wipe that caters to our unique needs.

    I know it says it is on the package, but there’s no such thing as a flushable wipe.
    Do. Not. Flush. Them.
    Your sewer system will thank you.

    Funny video for announcing white helmets (must be, indeed). They will look great with the white uniforms. It is the only kind of monochrome look that I like.

    If it’s a gray cloudy day with no sun or snow, it’s a passable monochrome.
    I’d rather they wore the brown jersey instead.

    3 points for cleverness.
    -5 points for ridiculous product placement.

    I’m hoping for a helmet with “32” on the side this season as a tribute to Jim Brown.

    Oh, it’ll definitely be white.

    I mean, he’s removing orange paint with that Dude Wipe (is this actually a real product???) and he’s seen in the video walking past the “46” throwback (actually with the current orange lid, it’s an amalgam of years).

    Solid white hat with white mask coming (?)

    All signs point to yes.

    I cannot wait for Twitter to be ablaze with calling them “Icy Whites” or “Stormtrooper”

    In this case, I’d like to see the olde-timey gray facemask return…or just stick with the brown.
    White for the Browns standard helmet (even if that means altering the team logo)? Yes!

    Y’all’s prognostications make more sense. When I saw the light-shade orange on the wipe, I thought they’d be announcing a lighter shade of orange, a Tennesse-esque shade. Which is a ridiculous conclusion to reach on so many levels. I was blinded by the vid’s Shakespearean acting brilliance.

    Pretty incredible to lean into your primary branding looking like literal shit.

    Soooo, stupid question-time…..
    Why couldn’t the ’21 Browns’ just spray-paint their brown shells to white for a game?
    …then paint them back to brown for the next game…?
    Was there some weird law of physics that prevents this???

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