I asked AI to reimagine all 32 @NFL mascots and that may have been a serious mistake.
— GG (@GarryGates) May 1, 2023
A Las Vegas-based gaming consultant named Garry Gates recently got the idea to have an AI bot create costumed mascots for each of the 32 NFL teams, and the results are somewhat horrifying and completely hilarious. Let’s take a look, one division at a time:
Scariest patriot ever (and in the team’s old Brady-era uniform!), the Gang Green guy looks genuinely gangrenous, the dolphin has an oddly spiked tail, and it’s gonna be hard to find a four-legged human to fit into that Bills costume.
Love the potbelly on the Browns’ mascot. In fact, I think I love everything about that one, except maybe the little notch on the left side of the “6.” Mr. Bengal is fine, Mr. Raven is actually pretty good, and I find Mr. Steeler to be oddly endearing. A strong division!
The Colts guy appears to be, um, hung like a horse. In other news, that wouldn’t be a bad new logo for the Texans, I’m in favor anything that brings more gold back to the Jags, and that’s the best uniform any Titan has worn in years.
Have you noticed that in any era, any format, any context, the Chargers always look good?
So the Commies guy has a powdered wig, Native American feathers, and a loincloth? Uh, okay. Meanwhile the Giant looks like Shrek, the Cowboy is cross-eyed, and the Eagle looks like his feathers got ruffled (literally and figuratively).
Anyone else think this Packers guy looks like Alfred E. Neuman?
Man, the Bucs have come a looooong way from Bucco Bruce, eh?
I like how the Seahawks guy kinda looks like a Sleestak in a Seattle (Sleestakkle?) uniform. Also, what uni number is that supposed to be?
And There’s More…
Gates also posted these four bonus images — one each for the Seahawks, Cowboys, Cardinals, and Bills:
Thus concludes our descent down the AI wormhole, at least for now (Gates is already hinting at a similar set of NBA mascots). But let’s give the bot some credit: Its designs are certainly no worse than Nike’s. And let’s thank Garry Gates for this brilliant project.
(Big thanks also to John Flory for bringing Gates’s project to Uni Watch’s attention, and to Michael Malinowski for suggesting that this project should get its own entry instead of being buried in the Ticker.)