Uni Watch Fan Appreciation Day, 2011 Edition

As longtime readers know, ’tis the season when I give something back to all of you who help make Uni Watch such a special project. Or, if you prefer to be more cynical, it’s time for me to clear out all the free swag that’s accumulated over the past year. Either way, more than 30 of you stand to win something for free, and that’s always fun, right?

As in past years, some of you may recognize a few of these items as gifts that you thoughtfully sent me over the past year. I realize regifting may seem tacky, and but sometimes I have duplicates on certain things, or I don’t have room for everything, or something is too big or too small for me to wear, or I’ve gotten some enjoyment out of an item and am now ready to let someone else enjoy it. No offense intended, and I hope none taken ”” thanks for understanding.

Okay, enough preliminaries ”” here’s what’s available (all apparel items are brand-new and never worn, except as noted):

1. A free Uni Watch membership, including a custom-designed membership card.

2. Any non-autographed college football helmet from the vast Gridiron Memories inventory. (Note that multiple designs are available for most schools.)

3. Eric Stuckenschneider’s 16-letter nameplate (Tucker not included), which would have been the longest NOB in MLB history if he’d ever gotten into a game. The nameplate was lettered up by A’s equipment manager Steve Vucinich during spring training of 1999, but Stuckenschneider hurt his shoulder that spring, and that was that.

4. A vintage game-used baseball jersey from Three Rivers College in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, circa mid-1980s. Appears to have once had an additional stripe on the left sleeve that was later removed (a memorial band, perhaps..?). Polyester double-knit. Tagged as a size 42; measures 22.5″ pit-to-pit.

5. Two sheets of Mets bat knob decals, just like the ones I wrote about in this ESPN column last summer.

6. Everything you need to make your own Great Lakes Loons batting helmet — well, except for the helmet itself.

7. My media credential from a Cardinals game back in May, complete with the customary misspelling of my surname. This was the game at which I watched Patti White as she did the stadium captioning for the hearing-impaired.

8. A copy of Gary Cieradkowski’s Illustrated Journal of Outsider Baseball. This issue is devoted to Jewish ballplayers. 20 pages. Cover is lightly scuffed.

9. A Washington Capitals throwback pom-pom ski cap from last season’s Winter Classic. One size fits all.

10. A Washington Capitals throwback ski cap from last season’s Winter Classic. One size fits all.

11. A Caps/Ovechkin T-shirt. Distressed graphics. Poly/cotton/rayon blend (but feels very cottony, I must say). Tagged as a large but measures 20″ pit-to-pit, which means it’s really a medium.

12. A Washington Capitals throwback scarf from last season’s Winter Classic.

13. A Pittsburgh Penguins throwback pom-pom ski cap from last season’s Winter Classic. One size fits all.

14. A Pittburgh Penguins throwback ski cap from last season’s Winter Classic. One size fits all.

15. A copy of Rob Ullman’s wonderful Old-Timey Hockey Tales. 34 pages.

16. An Official Eephus League Scorebook, designed and produced by Eephus League impresario Bethany Heck.

17. A Baltimore Orioles 2012 Brand Style Guide, outlining all of the team’s new logos, wordmarks, etc. for the coming season.

18. An assortment of NFL, MLB, and NCAA helmet decals, including a Louisiana-Lafayette primary logo; an Ohio State merit buckeye; an NFL logo; an MLB logo in Oakland A’s colors; and an American flag.

19. A really nice vintage Durene jersey with a gorgeous chain-stitched chest patch. Blank on back. Tagged as an XL but measures 22″ pit-to-pit and only 22″ long, which means it will fit someone rather short and stout.

20. A set of over 240 MLB stickers, circa 1990, still in their original plastic packaging.

21. Seven sheets of AFC helmet stickers, circa 1997.

22. An assortment of NFL helmet stickers, various years and sizes.

23. A pair of vintage NFL “mini-posters” (actually 5.5″ by 8.5″), circa 1981.

24. An Under Armour “charged cotton” T-shirt. 95% cotton, 5% some kinda stretchy stuff. More day-glo-ish than my crappy photo indicates. Rubberized UA logo on chest. Blank on back. Tagged as a large; 23″ pit-to-pit.

25. A genuine Cubs throwback undershirt with striped sleeves, just like the one worn by Sean Marshall and a few others during the Dodgers/Cubs game back on May 4. This one was made for that same game, although I don’t think anyone actually wore it on the field (it was a warm day, so many players didn’t go long-undersleeved). All-polyester with sewn-on stripes. Tagged as an XL; measures 23″ pit-to-pit.

26. A mirror-image Mets jersey, DIY’d by David “Frosty” Frost. Just the thing to reflect the current state of the franchise. Cream base color. Polyester double-knit. Zip-front. 23″ pit-to-pit.

27. A set of three Iowa minor league baseball caps (from left to right: Quad City River Bandits, Burlington Bees, Cedar Rapids Kernels). All barely used, all size 7.5.

28. A Brian Wilson beard poster, by McSweeney’s. 11″ by 17″. A teeny bit scuffed.

29. A Jose Reyes uniframe by PhotoFile. Professionally framed. 20.5″ square. Equally suitable for staring at wistfully or throwing rocks at, depending on your feelings regarding Reyes’s departure. (This item is kinda heavy, so it would be nice if the person who wins it could throw in a few bucks to help with the shipping charges.)

30. A Portland Timbers limited-edition box, containing the team’s 2012 third jersey and a scarf, plus an Adidas press release and a short handwritten note to me from an Adidas publicist (it begins “Hey Paulie”). One corner of box is slightly dented, thanks to a mishap involving a certain very naughty cat. Jersey is tagged XL and measures 23″ pit-to-pit.

31. A deck of Chicago Football Heroes playing cards. Never used. Perfect for a game of strip poker (as long as you’re not playing against Mike Ditka).


That’s what’s available. Here’s how to enter the raffle:

1) Send one e-mail, and only one, to the giveaway address.

2) In the body of the e-mail, please indicate (a) your name and shipping address and (b) your top 10 choices, in order of preference, by number. If you’re only interested in, say, seven items, then just list your top seven choices; if you want to list more than 10, you can do that too, all the way to 31, but I don’t really expect anyone to go that far. I’ll do my best to accommodate everyone’s choices.

3) Entry deadline is 10pm Eastern next Thursday, December 22nd. The winners will be announced on either the 24th or the 25th.

Again, my thanks to all of you who contribute in various ways to Uni Watch. I wish I could provide gifts for all of you — honest.

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Screen shot 2011-12-14 at 3.16.58 PM.png

And speaking of holiday traditions: One of the nicest Uni Watch rituals that’s developed over the years is the annual arrival of a package from reader and diehard Cardinals fan Elena Elms, who sends me a carefully packed box of homemade uni-themed cookies each December (you can see some of her confections from previous years in this slideshow). It’s something I’ve learned to look forward to every holiday season.

This year Elena has whipped up a batch of “Jew-niform” cookies, as she calls them — eight cookies honoring eight Jewish ballplayers (one for each night of Hanukkah, don’tcha know; click photo to enlarge):


Here’s Elena’s identification and explanation for each cookie:

The Dodgers cookie and the two No. 5s are for Hank Greenberg (Tigers), Lou Boudreau (Indians), and Sandy Koufax (Dodgers), the only three Jewish players in the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Boudreau’s mother was Jewish, though he was raised Catholic by his father after they split. But he “acknowledged his Jewish identity” to New York Times columnist Ira Berkow, so the American Jewish Historical Society included him in the updated version of their Jewish Major Leaguers baseball card set (which makes a lovely Hanukkah gift).

Nos. 20 and No. 21 are Shawn Green (as a Met, for Paul) and Jason Marquis (as a Cardinal, for me). Green has the second most career HRs for a Jew, after Greenberg. Marquis had a baseball-themed bar mitzvah, and his parents gave him a 15’ x 15’ replica of the scoreboard from his Little League World Series no-hitter against Canada. I loved to listen his “exotic” (to a Southerner like me) Staten Island accent in postgame interviews when he was a Cardinal. He got his 100th career win in 2011 — first Jew in 31 years to achieve that, since Steve Stone.

No. 30: Ken Holtzman. Most career wins for any Jewish pitcher (174). I picked his A’s uniform to add some color to the mix. Obviously, I ran out of room trying to add his NOB. If only his family had shortened their name to Holt, like Shawn Green’s family shortened theirs from Greenberg (“for business reasons”).

Nos. 8 and No. 12 are Ryan Braun (Brewers, chosen before his recent troubles) and Ron Blomberg (Yankees). Picked for their nicknames — the He-Brewer for Braun, the Hebrew Hammer for Blomberg. Blomberg was the first DH in MLB history and still jokes that he thought DH stood for Designated Hebrew.

Thanks, Elena — you’re the best.

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On the road again: I’ll be working on a story in Cleveland in a few weeks (Clevo in January — I can really pick my getaway spots, eh?), so let’s have a Uni Watch get-together. It’ll be on Tuesday, Jan. 10, 7pm, at Prosperity — the same place where we convened the last time I was in town a few years ago. Looking forward to seeing all the regulars, meeting new people, etc. And hey, maybe the guy at the next table who had Bernie Kosar’s uni number tattooed onto his hand will show up again.

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Uni Watch News Ticker: New navy alt for the Mavs. Further details next week in my NBA season-preview column on ESPN. ”¦ Tom Shieber has tipped me off to a sensational photo resource: freelance photographer Brad Mangin, who has two sites of sensational (and searchable!) images, here and here. First-rate stuff. … Reggie Bush was wearing an unusual sock style last Sunday, and now he’s been fined for it (from Matt Saunders). … Speaking of NFL sock styles, anyone else think the players going with solid whites look like their legs are mummified? … A few days ago I mentioned that the ref in the Peterson/Khan fight was wearing purple gloves. That prompted several commenters to note that many health care professionals are switching from latex gloves to nitrile, and that the most common nitrile dye is purple. Sure enough, when I went for my bi-monthly blood donation appointment yesterday, almost all of the technicians were wearing purple gloves. Not sure if this was a new thing or if I’d just blotted it out of my mind until now. … DC-area fans apparently buy more Bullets merch than Wizards merch (from Jason Mott). … Check out this shot of Coyotes goalie Mark Visentin wearing three different team logos. “His mask is from last year, when he played for Canada at the World Juniors; his jersey is from the team that drafted him, Phoenix; and his pads are from his junior team, the Niagara Ice Dogs,” says Donnie Gould. … Good spot by Mako Mameli, who points out that it’s very unusual to see an NFL player with two distinct small caps in his NOB. … Did Ndamukong Suh lose his shit on Thanksgiving Day because the Packers were untying his shoelaces? Maybe (big thanks to Jeff Ash). … Rich Rutherford found another photo of Brad Marchand with a white upper-right spoke on his jersey logo. … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: New logo for State Farm. … Also from yesterday: A bank robber in St. Louis has been dubbed “the logo bandit,” because he tends to wear brand-name sportswear. ”¦ Chris LaHaye reports that Church Point High in Louisiana has managed to poach logos from the Indiana Pacers and the U. of Cincinnati simultaneously. ”¦ I’m not sure which is more remarkable — that someone has compiled a list of the top 25 arena league uniform, or that said list was published someplace other than Bleacher Report (from Justin Mulhollan). ”¦ Seats from the old Bush Stadium in Indianapolis are being repurposed as bus stop seating (from Dan Cichalski). ”¦ Chris Flinn notes that the orange gloves worn by the TV timeout guy at Texans games have the old NFL logo. ”¦ SK Slovan Bratislava, a small Slovakian soccer club, has a jersey that’s made by Adidas but they have have Nike as a sponsor — or at least that’s how it looks. Obviously, niké, the sponsor, is not the same operation as our friends in Oregon, but it’s an interesting coincidence, especially since the jersey logo looks a bit like some of the original Nike logos developed by Carolyn Davidson back in 1971 (great observation by Mark Emge). ”¦ New kit for Santos Laguna (from Janssen McCormick). ”¦ Good-bye, Hitch. Thanks for always making me think a little bit harder. R.I.P.

106 comments to Uni Watch Fan Appreciation Day, 2011 Edition

  • Seth H | December 16, 2011 at 8:25 am |

    Could be an exciting day for Paul. Phil Mushnick is reporting in the NY Post that Wayne Hagin will probably not be offered a contract to broadcast the Mets next year.

    • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 8:30 am |

      Bless you, Seth — I hadn’t seen that. You just made my day.

      • Mike Engle | December 16, 2011 at 9:07 am |

        Paul’s most memorable Met year aside from 1986 and 2000, and we haven’t even started yet!

      • Gordon | December 16, 2011 at 9:33 am |

        [in Stimpy voice] Joy!

    • Arr Scott | December 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm |

      Makes me wonder which is sweeter, V-BFBS Day, or V-WH Day?

  • Connie | December 16, 2011 at 8:40 am |

    RIP Hitch, indeed. I knew him well.

    But all goes forward. When someone like Elena Elms shows up on your morning cuppa, you can’t help but smile. What a cool woman!

  • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 8:52 am |

    Did Ndamukong Suh lose his shit on Thanksgiving Day because the Packers were untying his shoelaces? Maybe

    Not that it wasn’t still a huge over-reaction on his part, but I figured that had to have been caused by *something*.

    /Also, I Love/Hate the Three Rivers College baseball jersey. Calling yourself the Raiders and wearing Steelers colors? Don’t try that in California or Pennsylvania.

    • Ry Co 40 | December 16, 2011 at 9:46 am |

      with a pirates-ish font too

      • traxel | December 16, 2011 at 5:12 pm |

        Three Rivers most well known athlete…….Latrell Sprewell.

        • StLMarty | December 17, 2011 at 12:13 am |

          perhaps better than mineral area college.
          hoop dreams.

  • Rich Michael | December 16, 2011 at 8:55 am |

    why do the AFC stickers offered above not have a Cleveland Browns helmet on them

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 9:08 am |

      Because they’re from 1997, and the Browns didn’t exist in ’96-’98.

      • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 9:23 am |

        I wondered that too for about 3 seconds and then I saw the old Order of the Water Buffalo logo on the Ravens helmet and said….”oh, yeah…”

    • Mike V. | December 16, 2011 at 9:24 am |

      They do have the Browns sticker included…it’s the black and purple one.

      • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 9:40 am |

        I agree with that sentiment, but I’m pretty sure that if you said that in Cleveland, they could legally kill you.

        • jdreyfuss | December 16, 2011 at 9:45 am |

          I do believe that would be justifiable homicide.

        • Wheels | December 16, 2011 at 10:03 am |

          My uncle from Cleveland drives around with a bumper sticker that says “Modell Sucks”.

  • walter | December 16, 2011 at 8:58 am |

    It’s just a matter of time before Washington bags the entire “Wizards” conceit and goes back to “Bullets”. PC considerations aside, it’s just a more appealing brand; certainly on a gut level.


    • WFY | December 16, 2011 at 9:57 am |

      It would not surprise me if Pollin and Leonsis have a gentleman’s agreement not to change the name back to Bullets.

      • Jason M | December 16, 2011 at 10:10 am |

        Pollin is deceased now.
        When Leonsis first acquired the team, he took input from fans for changes that they would like to see. Two of the top proposals were to change the colors and change the name back. Leonsis kept the list up with the status of all of the items. The colors and name were “Under consideration” for a long time. It became clear that the Wizards were changing their colors once the Mystics colors changed.

        My feeling is that Leonsis wants to change it back, but Stern and the NBA are standing in the way. From what I understand, Stern was a close friend of Pollin. I have no insider information. That’s just my gut feeling. I don’t think Leonsis has ever given a reason for not changing it. I think it’s a matter of time, too.

        • Arr Scott | December 16, 2011 at 11:59 am |

          Irene Pollin is still around, and my understanding is that she remains close to Leonsis, and that augers against a Bullets change. And secondly, the Arenas gun incident is probably still too recent for any of the suits to consider renaming the team the Bullets. After that incident, they’d probably have been renamed had Bullets still been the moniker. I don’t think fans treated that incident as anything like the BFD it actually was, from a brand identity standpoint. The association with Arenas brandishing a loaded gun in the locker room was and remains radioactive to anyone involved in corporate communications.

          That said, I’d bet on the Bullets name returning. Just not soon. And not ever if the Wizards make a run to the finals before changing the name.

      • teenchy | December 16, 2011 at 12:01 pm |

        They could always pronounce it “Boulez” which some DC sportswriters (Kornheiser among others IIRC) used to refer to the team.

        • Arr Scott | December 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm |

          Throw in a sponsorship by Bulleit Bourbon and there you go!

  • DK1247 | December 16, 2011 at 8:59 am |

    The annual raffle and a Uni Watch gathering I’ll be able to go to? This is a good way to start the day.

    • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 9:24 am |

      I was thinking the same thing. I hope to be able to make the trip up there. I just need to decide which stirrups to wear.

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 9:56 am |

      I *could* make it, but as a 3rd-shifter I’m not sure if it’s worth the sleep deprivation.

      • DK1247 | December 16, 2011 at 10:57 am |

        The last party he held in Cleveland was right after I graduated college and had to move back home from there, and now I’ll just have moved back to the city for a job.

  • Wheels | December 16, 2011 at 9:00 am |

    Those NFL mini posters are pretty cool… Does anybody remember the vintage Sports Illustrated posters they are based on, the ones with the big white border and the player’s name in black in the upper left? Growing up in the 80’s, I had Eric Dickerson, Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Dominique Wilkins, Michael Jordan, and Dr. J on my bedroom walls. They were great posters.

    • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 9:28 am |

      I loved those posters. I had Ozzie Newsome and Eric Davis. And maybe Walter Payton too. That was when I had a subscription to SI and after a year or so I took all the covers and wallpapered one wall with them. I had all of the NFL pennants too. I wish my bedroom looked like that today.

      • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 9:32 am |

        By the way, I had too google “pennant” just to be able to figure out how to spell it. One of those moments that politely remind you that you are getting old.

      • Wheels | December 16, 2011 at 9:46 am |

        Nice, my older cousin had SI covers neatly arranged on his walls, complete with a dedicated area for Tony Dorsett. It looked awesome. I had pennants everywhere too.

    • Gerry Dincher | December 16, 2011 at 9:40 am |

      I had a Jack Lambert poster. It was on my wall for a long time, but got torn down during a pillow fight.

      • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 1:03 pm |

        Jack Lambert taken down by a pillow fight? O, the injustice.

        • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm |

          Let’s just hope it was the most epic pillow fight of all time.

  • WFY | December 16, 2011 at 9:02 am |

    The Bullets were last in merchandise sales when the Wizards name-change was announced. Granted, it was a small sample size, but growing up 15 miles from D.C. in Northern Virginia, I don’t ever recall seeing a classmate wearing Bullets clothes. Lakers, Knicks, Celtics, Bulls, but never Bullets.

    • concealed78 | December 16, 2011 at 9:26 am |

      I heard that too about the Bullets sales. It’s funny how that stuff comes around. In the mid-to-late 1980s, I don’t recall very many people wearing White Sox gear (it being a total Cubs town) especially with the very 1970s looking batter-SOX logo. It was also fairly difficult find any White Sox gear as opposed to Cubs gear. Then during the retro craze it becomes like the Top 3 Cooperstown Collection logo amongst with the Brewers MB-Glove & Swinging Friar Padres. About 1993 is when I started preferring the old batter-SOX logo to the current & thus a retro fiend was born.

    • Jason M | December 16, 2011 at 10:20 am |

      I grew up in the DC area since 6th grade and late 80’s.
      There are two main reasons why Bullets merch would not have been very popular. 1. The team has always stunk, as far as those of us who grew up in the ’80s know. 2. The logo has stunk, too. It’s always been so plain and boring.

      My thinking at this point is that folks are willing to buy it because they want the nostalgia. Also, folks probably think it’s better than anything the Wizards have given us.

  • Gerry Dincher | December 16, 2011 at 9:14 am |

    I was intrigued by the Bush Stadium seats as bus stops in Indy, but I love the mural of Kurt Vonnegut on the building in the background. A quick check of wikipedia confirms that Vonnegut was born in Indianapolis.

  • Don G | December 16, 2011 at 9:23 am |

    Honest question that has probably been answered before: How can Bush be fined for his sock style, when there doesn’t seem to be any enforced standard? I know there is a guide or something, but it’s not consistently followed.

    • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 9:31 am |

      I think it is only enforced by handing out fines. Most players don’t care enough about the fines so they wear their socks as they please. I think each team has a Uni Monitor to police the players and hand out the fines. At least this was the case a couple of years ago. I remember reading about it here. The Browns had a former player fill that role. Former safety Felix Wright, I believe.

      • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 9:36 am |

        The rule is simple: From ankle to mid-shin should be white; from mid-shin to knee should be team pattern or color(s).

        Remember, the league doesn’t announce these fines. We only learn about them when the players mention them to a reporter (as Bush did). I suspect many, many players are fined for sock violations. The players seem to treat it as the cost of doing business (or of self-expression, or whatever).

  • Mike V. | December 16, 2011 at 9:33 am |


    Love the cutting board in the cookie pick. B-E-A-Utiful grain. Plus the wear and char marks really gives it character. Do you regularly treat your boards to make them last? Cutting boards are one of those niche things I find myself drawn to. The one shown plus your Wisconsin board makes me believe you are serious about your cutting slabs.

    • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 9:38 am |

      I wish I could say I oil them, wipe them down with lemon and coarse salt, etc. — but the truth is that I don’t fuss over them at all. Just very basic cleaning (sponge, plastic scrubber thingie, soap).

    • Andy | December 16, 2011 at 10:42 am |

      I saw dome kick-ass chicago flag cutting boards made of light wood with the stripes and stars inlaid in a darker wood last time I was there.

  • jdreyfuss | December 16, 2011 at 9:47 am |

    Aw man, I wish my classes didn’t start for an extra week. I’m going back to my parents’ place for winter break, but I have to be back in Virginia by January 9.

  • Tom Farley | December 16, 2011 at 9:49 am |

    No uni comment from me yet today, Paul. But I want to say well done on the bi- monthly blood donation. I’d go more than every two months if I could. The “double red” donation was wild the first time; I had no idea that plasma was yellow. Donate blood if you can, Uni Watchers. Free cookies when you’re done,

    • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 9:55 am |

      There was a big call for blood donors on 9/11/01. I’d never donated blood before, but it seemed like a good idea, so I donated. Turned out to be unnecessary, at least from a 9/11 standpoint, because pretty much everyone in the towers died — no survivors, no need for blood. Still, donating felt like a good, positive thing to have done, so I went back and did it again two months later (the minimum time they allow between donations). I’ve continued to give blood every two months for the past 10 years. And every single time, I’ve thought about 9/11, and how if my blood ends up saving even one person’s life, then at least a little good will have come out of that terrible day.

      And yes, free Lorna Doones. Plus one time one of the technicians hit on me (totally unprofessional, and she wasn’t my type, but it was sort of amusing).

      • Ricko | December 16, 2011 at 12:03 pm |

        In the 1950s (and possibly into the ’60s) after you gave blood in New Ulm, MN, home of the somewhat-famous Schell Brewing Company, they gave you a choice of orange juice or a beer.

        I once dated a girl who’d grown up in New Ulm. Her mother used to laugh about doing volunteer work as “a beerslinger at the blood drive.”

        • Matthew Radican | December 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm |

          Funny how times change. Now they tell you to lay off alcohol for at least a couple of hours after a donation.

  • Bernard | December 16, 2011 at 9:53 am |

    I appreciate the effort, but any list of arena league football uniforms that doesn’t have this as number 1 needs a revision.

    • Dane | December 16, 2011 at 10:10 am |

      I second the motion. Also, the Zubaz pants at #13???

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 10:17 am |

      The fact that the #1 is an all-black uniform pretty much invalidates the whole thing.

      /and the Zubaz should be higher

    • Jim Vilk | December 16, 2011 at 10:57 pm |

      Jason, scroll down and prepare to be pleased…

  • Bernard | December 16, 2011 at 9:54 am |

    Also, I’m “loving” the Catch of the Day.

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 9:58 am |

      I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry. :\

      • RedWing in Colorado | December 16, 2011 at 10:28 am |

        I’m a high school teacher, and stopped being able to cry a long time ago. The killing of grammar by people is just a way for me to know who to laugh at, because when they make mistakes like this, it tells me who deserves kharmic retribution for not paying attention in school.

    • Mike V. | December 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm |

      The only thing worse than unnecessary quotes is unnecessary air/finger quotes.

  • pushbutton | December 16, 2011 at 11:23 am |

    Welcome to the 1970s, State Farm. I would’ve thought the old Auto/Life/Fire symbols had weathered such once-hip abstraction, and was now untouchable, but no. You’ve got one of those annoying, ironic ad campaigns like everyone else, so they told you to modernize your letterheads.

    But in the time it took you to change the logo, the old logo had become so unhip it was cool again. Maybe not ‘cool’, but certainly different for an insurance company logo to contain the word “insurance”.

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 11:56 am |

      Semi-major companies seem to rebrand themselves all the damn time, regardless of whether they need it. I happen to work in retail (yes, it kinda sucks), and I swear, every couple months we get something in that’s changed packaging for absolutely no logical reason.

      • Cort McMurray | December 16, 2011 at 3:14 pm |

        Read the press release. The shill quoted in it describes the new logo as being “user friendly.” What exactly does that mean? It’s a completely useless statement.

        Who is the user, and how does changing the font and styling the little “fire” “home” “life” balloons make using the font more friendly?

        I hate the world.

  • elDirty | December 16, 2011 at 11:52 am |

    With the Champions League draw today, we’re going to have another instance of clashing shirt sponsors for Arsenal v AC Milan. Things like this get me giddy like a schoolgirl.

    Clash of shirt sponsor

    18.08 If two clubs meeting in the competition have the same shirt sponsor, the home team may wear their regular sponsor advertising whereas the visiting team may only wear advertising for a product of the said sponsor. No
    identical advertising elements may appear on the shirts of the two teams in question. The visiting club must send a sample of such new shirts to the UEFA administration for approval.

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 11:58 am |

      …and yet the solution would be so simple: DON’T HAVE FUCKING ADVERTISEMENTS ON YOUR DAMN JERSEYS. You’re supposed to be a professional league, for Talos’ sake.

  • Dumb Guy | December 16, 2011 at 12:06 pm |

    It’s always interesting to me to see how things are organinzed. The NFL stickers offered: one set is alphabetically by TEAM Name, the other by CITY name.

    The AFC stickers are close, but the switched Kansas City and Jacksonville. ????

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm |

      They had to do that because if you put the KC helmet too close to the Raiders, bad things happen.

      • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm |

        Actually… it’s not even just KC & Jacksonville being flipped. The Raiders were back in Oakland so they’re also out of place. Someone messed up.

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 12:38 pm |

      The NFC sheet is wrong too. The Rams had moved to St Louis, but are still in the Los Angeles spot.

      • Dumb Guy | December 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm |

        Curious choices for the “initials” in top right of the NFL stickers.

        I think those stickers were from a Sports Illustrated subscription thing where you could choose your favorite team and they’d send you *something* special regarding your team.

  • nobody | December 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm |

    Heres a random question: Why don’t any NHL teams wear white pants?

    • The Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm |


      /I have no idea

    • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm |

      Because they saw how that turned out the last time someone tried it:

      • Shaftman | December 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm |

        Damn…didn’t refresh before posting.

    • Shaftman | December 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm |

      Because it looks like sh*t.


      • pushbutton | December 16, 2011 at 4:06 pm |

        They don’t look too bad to me, maybe cuz I’m not a hockey guy.

    • Craig D | December 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm |

      My (decidedly made up) theory: The ice is white. So maybe it breaks up the whiteness with color?

      • Ricko | December 16, 2011 at 1:10 pm |

        Mostly, it’s because they look like bloomers.
        Don’t know what bloomers are?
        Google is your friend.

        • Wheels | December 16, 2011 at 3:28 pm |

          I remember when UCLA was in the 1995 Final Four, John Wooden saying in an interview how much he couldn’t stand the modern players wearing bloomers. That was the first time I ever heard that term.

    • Arr Scott | December 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm |

      “Honey, does this make me look fat?”

      Yes, white-bloomer-wearing hockey player, yes it does.

    • Teebz | December 16, 2011 at 3:15 pm |

      1) White nylon becomes translucent very quickly when wet. 2) Keeping them clean would be a ridiculous nightmare.
      3) It’s been done, and it didn’t work well.

  • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 2:02 pm |
    • pflava | December 16, 2011 at 2:21 pm |

      “Have you ever voted for a Democrat?”


    • Arr Scott | December 16, 2011 at 5:29 pm |

      I’ve just added “Photoshop Matt 6:6 eyeblack onto Tebow pic” to my to-do list.

    • Phil Hecken | December 16, 2011 at 8:00 pm |




      • StLMarty | December 17, 2011 at 12:23 am |


        ah men, ah men, ah ah men…

  • name redacted | December 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm |

    I wonder what is in that Ryan Braun cookie.

    • Paul Lukas | December 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm |

      I don’t know, but I’m heading out to the batting cage as soon as I eat it!

  • Ski U Mah Gopher | December 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm |

    Today’s Gopher uniform reveal:

    The nose bumper. Black with Ski-U-Mah in gold. At least that’s the assumption on gopherhole.com.

  • Ben | December 16, 2011 at 3:33 pm |

    On that link it also looks like Mark Visentin’s Coyotes jersey has an old NHL patch.


    New Logo

  • timmy b | December 16, 2011 at 5:07 pm |

    The Aussie Rules historical uniform site, http://www.footyjumpers.com looks like it has undergone a major revamp.

    An awesome reference site made even better.

    Check it out!

  • Jeff | December 16, 2011 at 6:48 pm |

    As for the Suh-and-shoelaces story, all parties backtracked as soon as the story got wide play in the media. As slways, you be the judge.


    • T'Challa | December 16, 2011 at 7:15 pm |

      Well I mean even if the guy did untie Suh’s laces is he really gonna admit to it when confronted? I don’t think he did but there’s no reason why he’d fess up at this point.

  • Dan Szpek | December 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm |

    Paul is gonna hate the pictures coming from the DIII national title game. So much purple.

    • T'Challa | December 16, 2011 at 7:16 pm |

      Lol, I had the same thought as well!

    • CWac19 | December 16, 2011 at 7:46 pm |

      MY problem with the D-III national championship game is that the same teams are in it every year. How does this happen at this, the arguably most “pure” level of college football??

      • Dan Szpek | December 16, 2011 at 8:05 pm |

        Players wanna win. Rather than take a DII or D1-A scholarship and sit for a year or two a lot of these guys prefer to start for 4 years and play at a UWW or Mount Union.

        Other teams are catching up, however. UWW nearly lost to in state rival UW-Oshkosh this season.

      • Ricko | December 16, 2011 at 11:32 pm |

        Jeez, even with a playoff it seems to come down to the upper echelon teams. Who’d have thought it.

        In other words, if people think you’re eighth ranked, most of time you probably ARE eighth.

    • Geoff | December 17, 2011 at 10:39 am |

      Amazingly there wasn’t much purple. Mostly black and white. UW-Whitewater even debuted new jerseys last night.

  • CWac19 | December 16, 2011 at 7:32 pm |

    Why is it so hard to reproduce the #7 in the Devils’ font?? It always looks fine on the game-worn sweater, but it looks jacked up everywhere it appears in Scott Niedermayer’s ceremony — including the framed sweater they presented him with.

    • CWac19 | December 16, 2011 at 7:37 pm |

      And they didn’t even bother using the Devils’ font on the banner itself.

  • Skott S. | December 16, 2011 at 9:59 pm |

    I just saw some “highlights” from the NBA preseason, and the numbers on the Wizards new jerseys are incredibly hard to read from a distance. Wonder if they’ll have to change that.

    • Jim Vilk | December 16, 2011 at 11:03 pm |

      Ah, I was going to comment on the same thing. And before The Jeff says, “Let them eat cake! buy a bigger TV!”, it would also be a nice public service for the folks at the game who aren’t in the first ten rows. The font is OK, just increase the size and have more of a contrasting border.

      By the way, that game and the Bulls/Pacers game were free on DirecTV…part of the preseason/season preview. From tonight until January 5th (or 6th…check your TV), you get free games. Welcome back, NBA!

  • Ricko | December 16, 2011 at 11:15 pm |

    Why’s everyone so worked up about Tim Tebow when this far more important question is out there waiting to be answered…

  • Jim Vilk | December 16, 2011 at 11:30 pm |

    Aw, man, I was so busy today I didn’t notice that Arena Football uniform ranking. Now that I’ve seen it, I feel the need to tweak it. Sooooo…

    Honorable Mentions to JAcksonville Sharks – That’s the first time I’ve ever seen them, and they just made a great first impression.

    And to Carolina Cobras – Loved the all-the-way-around shoulder stripes.

    5. original Arizona Rattlers – The very embodiment of Arizona…so why didn’t they keep this look?

    4. Milwaukee Mustangs – So 90s…and for once that’s a good thing.

    3. New England Steamroller (in background, on defense) – Great name, great color!

    2. Chicago Bruisers – This very well could be #1, but…

    1. Iowa Barnstormers – …this was just a genius design.

    And the bad one: Tampa Bay Storm in Zubaz – Y’all think *I’m* bad? My brother would wear that in public…and has.

    • Ricko | December 16, 2011 at 11:44 pm |

      Yikes. Counting the spaces in-between, there are 14 stripes on each Chicago Bruiser sleeve.

    • CWac19 | December 16, 2011 at 11:48 pm |

      How about that team the Tampa Bay Zubaz Storm is playing? The Miami Hooters!

      • Jim Vilk | December 16, 2011 at 11:53 pm |

        Oh yeah, I forgot about them…

        Wonder if Cleveland Gladiators fans realize the Tampa Bay Storm used to be the Pittsburgh Gladiators.
        And do you think they’d want to change their name?