I’ve spent many an hour in many a thrift store, but I’d never seen one of these vintage spiked carving boards until longtime Uni Watch reader Kurt Rozek generously offered to send me this one, which a neighbor of his was discarding. How much do I love the box design? Let us count the ways:
- The product name — Hold-N-Kut — is a classic.
- Gotta love the guy carving a ham while wearing a suit and chef’s toque.
- I’m a sucker for text inside of arrows.
- It’s good for “any roast or fowl.”
- The brand name is Royal, so of course their logo has a crown.
- Have I mentioned that it’s a spiked carving board? That explains the holes in the box.
Packaging aside, the whole notion of the product is bizarre to me. I mean, does your Sunday roast or Thanksgiving turkey have a habit of sliding off the carving board and onto the floor? If so, then I guess this is the product for you, but I’ve never had that problem.
That said, it’s a handsome product (quarter for scale):
When viewed from the bottom up, the runoff channels look a bit like a menorah, perhaps crossed with a medieval torture device:
The original owners were apparently inconsistent about how they oriented the product in the box, because the bottom of the box also has spike holes:
I haven’t yet had occasion to cook a roast or fowl during the week or so that this item has been in my possession. But E and I shared a big ribeye steak a few nights ago, so we decided to give the Hold-N-Kut a test-drive. As you can see, one of Uni Watch HQ’s new residents was v-e-r-y interested in the proceedings:
The good news is that the Hold-N-Kut held the steak in place very securely. The bad news is as follows:
- As I sliced the steak, my knife sometimes hit one of the spikes, which was disconcerting. (To be fair, this wouldn’t be an issue with a larger/higher item like a roast or a turkey.)
- Although the box claims that the board is “pitched to drain juices to gravy well,” the board is actually level, not pitched. Not a crippling flaw, but it’s odd that they claimed that as a product feature.
- The box also claims that the board “Cleans simply and quickly.” But as you might imagine, a board with a grid of spikes is actually a pain in the ass to clean, at least compared to a conventional board.
Despite these mild quibbles, the Hold-N-Kut has a fun kitsch quotient that can’t be denied, so I’ll definitely be using it again.
(Huge thanks to Kurt Rozek, first for thinking that I might be interested in this item, and then for shipping it to me.)