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Shoot or Shite? NBA 'City' Uni Ratings

By Phil Hecken

Over the past couple weeks, the NBA released all new ‘City’ jerseys for teams, which conveniently dropped just in time for your holiday shopping needs. Now, no team(s) need 4 (or 5 or 6 or 7) different uniforms, so none of these are necessary — and most of them are terrible or bad or awful or (insert adjective here). A couple, if you throw out the fact that these are unnecessary, aren’t too bad.

I had thought about ranking them from first to worst, but there’d be a list of about six or seven at the top and the remainder would need to fight it out for worst. So, riffing off Paul’s good or stupid rating system, I’ve decided to give them a “Shoot” or “Shite” (you can figure out which is which) score. You may agree or disagree. Feel free to argue in the comments. Here we go…

• • • • •

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division

Boston Celtics

It wasn’t nearly as bad as the leak, color-wise, but do the Celtics really need another green uniform? Looked OK on court, and at least it’s not BFBS.
SHOOT

• • •

Brooklyn Nets

The Nets don’t play in Bed-Stuy, but does it matter? Facts are stubborn things. The ‘graffiti’ font is already played out and while the Biggie panels aren’t horrible, this uni is.
SHITE

• • •

New York Knicks

Last year’s FDNY unis were better. I kinda dig the whole skyline thing but haven’t we already seen these before? The navy is way too dark, too.
SHITE

• • •

Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers

Oh. Cream. That’s original. But I do have to say I think this is a pretty good lookin’ kit. And some of the doo dads aren’t overkill. Plus, how many times to you see “Philadelphia” actually spelled out in full on a uni?
SHOOT

• • •

Toronto Raptors

I’m gonna be honest. I never got the whole Drake/OVO thing. So I’m just gonna judge this as a uni. And I just don’t get this. I’m not saying they need to wear the purple dino unis all the time, but this just doesn’t scream “Toronto” to me at all. Sorry.
SHITE

• • • • •

Central Division

• • •

Chicago Bulls

When I think of the Bulls, I don’t think powder blue. I mean, I guess there is a precedent for such colors in Chi-town, and clearly this is a riff on the City flag. But man, if I turn on the TV and the Bulls are playing and wearing this, I will have NO idea who I’m watching.
SHITE

• • •

Cleveland Cavaliers

Designer #1: “Hey, we need another uni for the Cavs. Any ideas?”
Designer #2: “How about a mashup?”
Designer #1: “OK. What eras?”
Designer #2: “All of them”
SHITE

• • •

Detroit Pistons

Designer #1: “Hey, we need another uni for the Pistons. Any ideas?”
Designer #2: “How about if we do what we did last year, just in red?”
Designer #1: “Done”
SHITE

• • •

Indiana Pacers

Can any uni save the Central? Well, if there’s one uni that’s pretty decent it is the Pacers’. Yeah, the whole Indy 500/checkered flag motif is cliched, and we’ve kinda already seen this look, but it’s still sharp, and it looks good in white.
SHOOT

• • •

Milwaukee Bucks

Milwaukee’s nickname is “Cream City.” The uniforms are cream. OK, we get it. They’re not terrible uniforms, but man, that script font sucks. And didn’t they already do a cream uni? I actually prefer the angry deer. Which is sad.
SHITE

• • • • •

Southeast Division

• • •

Atlanta Hawks

Yeah, I get that these “City” uniforms are supposed to be for the residents, and Peachtree Street obviously means a lot to Atlanta. But damn, for the rest of us, we will have a hard enough time reading the name on the jersey, much less get the reference. OK, so the Hawks don’t exactly have a beautiful jersey history (just wear the Pac Man and call it a day), but these aren’t much better.
SHITE

• • •

Charlotte Hornets

The Hornets actually have really awesome unis, but this one is the turd in the punch bowl. Gray? “CHA”? C’mon man. Do better.
SHITE

• • •

Miami Heat

I loved it when they wore this in white. Then they made it in black. And then they made it in pink. And now it’s back, in powder blue. I still love the design and the colors are very SoFla, but damn.
SHOOT

• • •

Orlando Magic

And you thought the whole “Lets put the Airport Code on the jersey” was played out. Guess again.
SHITE

Washington Wizards

I actually kinda like this one — the flag pattern stripes actually look good (if we can overlook that whole flag code thing), and it’s not the worst thing the Wiz have ever worn. Yeah, that DC logo looks a tad phallic, but what’re ya gone do?
SHOOT

• • • • •

Western Conference

Northwest Division

• • •

Denver Nuggets

I love the iconography, but that’s about all that’s good about this uni. Denver’s not a BFBS team, and mountain rainbow doesn’t look good set against black. It didn’t look much better set on white either. Their best bet was just to stick with the tetris buildings.
SHITE

• • •

Minnesota Timberwolves

I mean, I get that they’re trying for a bit of a Minneapolis Lakers vibe with these, but “MSP”? Why not go with MPLS if you need to abbreviate it? Oh, right…that whole airport code thing. Full Stop.
SHITE

• • •

Oklahoma City Thunder

I should hate this one just for the ad patch (and well, I do), but I actually kinda like this one. I respected what they were doing with the whole turquoise OKC Native American thing previously, but this is actually a pretty classically-designed uni. You can read the stacked “Oklahoma City” and the side panels don’t detract that much. Wow. OKC surprises.
SHOOT

• • •

Portland Trail Blazers

Before they came out with this, I was saying to myself “Please don’t say ‘Rip City'”. Alas, twas not to be. We get it. You had it on there once before (or maybe even more than once?). That’s plenty. Now it’s just annoying.
SHITE

• • •

Utah Jazz

Hey, haven’t we seen this one before? Yep. That’s right — the Jazz kept their previous ‘City’ uniforms, instead of dropping another one just because they could. I mean, they could have just reversed the pattern, right? Dark on top shading down to light at the bottom? Restraint is the better part of valor.
SHOOT

• • • • •

Pacific Division

• • •

Golden State Warriors

Hey, haven’t we seen this one before? Well, we have, but that one had a gold collar and side stripe. So, they just swapped the gold for the blue? Yep. But hey, it’s a new jersey right?
SHITE

• • •

Los Angeles Clippers

Gothic or Gangsta? Why not both? I’m not particularly a fan of Olde English on a jersey, but this allows for a whole line of gear with which to part you from your money.
SHITE

• • •

Los Angeles Lakers

Wait, isn’t this what the team already wears? Well, no… that one has purple letters/numbers with white block shadow and this one has well, the opposite. And it’s actually the jersey the team should be wearing. And Shaq designed it, so..,
SHOOT

• • •

Phoenix Suns

Interesting the Suns chose to make their Noche Latina jersey their ‘City’ jersey. I thought most teams just kinda got those jerseys as an extra bonus for extra sales. I’d rip them for just being lazy and not making it say “Los Soles” but I kinda dig the Arizona flag pattern on the pants. And the “LOS SUNS” and number have a pattern to them as well.
SHOOT

• • •

Sacramento Kings

What the hell is this? Oh, just the natural progression of a shitty design. Sactown doesn’t sound like a compliment either, if you catch my drift. This may be the worst of them all.
SHITE!

• • • • •

Southwest Division

• • •

Dallas Mavericks

Did I just say the Sactown unis were the worst? Scratch that. I don’t know if their intent was to go all Fresh Prince, but no one can unsee it now. I’m sure there is a clever story behind these but I’m really not interested. I’m just gonna be chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool. And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school.
SHITE!!

• • •

Houston Rockets

Oh, FFS. If “Sactown” is bad, “H-Town” is worse. Yes, I’ve known it’s been referred to “Houston Town” (at least in song) for years, and H-Town is just that abbreviated, but really? And the only thing worse than H-Town is the non-hyphenated knockoff. Needs a piece of electrical tape or something.
SHITE

• • •

Memphis Grizzlies

No, it’s not pure white and thus invisible on this page — the Grizz technically don’t have a ‘City’ jersey this season. Technically they’re calling the Vancouver throwback their ‘City’ jersey. I’d have been fine if they just reused the 2017 uni again (that one was based off the historic font on the “I AM A MAN” signs used when Dr. King visited Memphis in support of striking sanitation workers — King was assassinated shortly thereafter). But kudos to Memphis for NOT having a ‘City’ uniform…or technically using their Vancouver throwback in its stead.

• • •

New Orleans Pelicans

I love the Pels in Mardi Gras colors, and wish they’d actually just make all their unis in them. But the NOLA thing is kinda played out, ya know? (At least this one doesn’t have sleeves). Keep the colors, drop the nickname. And whatever you do, don’t put “NAWLINS” on a shirt. Ever.
SHOOT

• • •

San Antonio Spurs

The good news is the Spurs have said “NO” to the nonsense of a new ‘City’ jersey this year. The bad news is they’re sticking with their shitty camo print pattern they’ve used for years. It didn’t look good then, it still doesn’t. And yet, if they must have a ‘City’ jersey, their choice(s) are so easy.
SHITE

• • • • •

And there you have it. Let me know what you think.


Kreindler’s Korner

I had the distinct pleasure of featuring the wonderful artwork of artist Graig Kriendler on two occasions over the summer and fall of 2017, and more recently, in August of 2018.

For those who don’t wish to click the links, Graig paints baseball heroes (and regular guys) from the past, and is an immense talent.

Occasionally, I will be featuring his work on Uni Watch.

Here’s today’s offering (click to enlarge):

• • •

Title: “Bill Gatewood, 1916” (color study)
Subject: Bill Gatewood, 1916
Medium: Oil on linen mounted to board
Size: 5” x 7”

Bill Gatewood is usually best known as the answer to a trivia question. Who gave James Bell his nickname, “Cool Papa?” Only a slightly lesser known fact, Gatewood is also the man who taught a young Satchel Paige how to throw his famous hesitation pitch, which was said to be a slowdown in his delivery that offset the batter’s timing. But when we read more about him, it becomes evident that there was definitely more to Bill than those two bits of trivia.

The tall right hander found himself playing his first professional games on clubs with some of the greats of the era, including “Home Run” Johnson, Smokey Joe Williams, Spottswood Poles, Pete Hill, and Rube Foster. It was the latter of that bunch who taught Bill how to hone his craft, as he came to employ both a spitter and emery ball. And at 6’7” and 250 pounds, he could be rather overpowering, and was not afraid to throw inside.

Throughout his career, he pitched for more than 20 clubs, though never spectacularly. Throughout the first two decades of the century, he traveled the country extensively, always in search of employment with various teams. In 1920, he found a notable home with the Detroit Stars, a ballclub in Rube Foster’s new Negro National League. In only his second year with the team, he tossed a no-hitter against the Cincinnati Cuban Stars. Larry Lester, a Black baseball historian, had this to say about the event:

“In a 1921 game, as a member of the Detroit Stars with Bruce Petway catching, the Cuban Stars protested to the umpire that the ball was doing ‘funny things.’ The umpire examined the ball and found a nick and tossed it out of play. A short time later more complaints were registered and …The Cubans demanded that Gatewood be searched. The pat down revealed a half-dozen bottle caps in (the pitcher’s) pocket. Busted and now angry, Gatewood started off batters with knock-down pitches and eventually struck out 10 and walked two batters en route to a no-hitter.”

Here’s Bill with the St. Louis Giants in 1916. This is one of 200+ paintings of mine that will be on display at the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in the spring of 2020.

• • •

Thanks, Graig! You can (and should!) follow Graig on Twitter.


Uni Concepts & Tweaks

After being dormant for a while, the Uni Tweaks/Concepts have returned!

I hope you guys like this feature and will want to continue to submit your concepts and tweaks to me. If you do, Shoot me an E-mail (Phil (dot) Hecken (at) gmail (dot) com).

• • •

I received an e-mail from reader Johnny Woods who has a concept for a new Seattle Hockey Team.

This whole logo concept has been bouncing in my head for years.

The logo, right to left, is an evergreen tree whose sharp angles form a lightning bolt signifying power and strength (sorry Tampa Bay Lightning).

The three hockey sticks also help form the bolt and form the letter E (sorry Philadelphia Eagles).

The slanted box with two sharp and two round corners form an S (sorry Saskatchewan Roughriders).

On top of that, the colors are green and silver with a darker green that looks similar to those last two teams colors.

Oh, the three-stick design is the basis of the three-line stripe on green (sorry Hartford Whalers).

Added note: You can’t really use a lumberjack in an Evergreens logo because they are the enemy of the evergreen trees. Similar to those Whalers using Pucky the Whale as a secondary logo.

~ Johnny Woods

• • •

Thanks Johnny. OK readers (and concepters). If you have some tweaks or concepts, shoot ’em my way with a brief description of your creation and I’ll run ’em here.

Guess The Game…

from the scoreboard

The game has returned! At least for a trial basis, but I got a lot of positive response to its return, so we’ll see how long we keep this one going.

Today’s scoreboard comes from reader ojai67.

The premise of the game (GTGFTS) is simple: I’ll post a scoreboard and you guys simply identify the game depicted. In the past, I don’t know if I’ve ever completely stumped you (some are easier than others).

While there’s probably more than enough information on the scoreboard (teams, players, etc.) to solve this one, there’s also one yuge clue spelled out for ya in the middle!

Here’s the Scoreboard. In the comments below, try to identify the game (date & location, as well as final score). If anything noteworthy occurred during the game, please add that in (and if you were AT the game, well bonus points for you!):

If you guys like this, please continue sending these in! You’re welcome to send me any scoreboard photos (with answers please), and I’ll keep running them.


5 & 1 Help Wanted

No, it’s not what you think. I’m not getting rid of Memal. But circumstances have transpired over the weekend where Mr. Malinowski will be without the Interwebs, so there *may* not be a 5 & 1 for tomorrow.

Now, I know it’s recently become your favorite part of the SMUW, so I don’t want to leave you without one — so I’M going to be doing it. But I’d love your help. Either tweet (@PhilHecken) or e-mail (address above or phil.hecken@gmail) or in the comments below, please make your own choice(s) for your best (top 5) and worst (and 1) games. I’ll be happy to look at any suggestions and if I pick your choice, I’ll give you credit in tomorrow’s 5 & 1. There have been a few games already played earlier in the week, and I have a clubhouse leader so far, but that could easily be dislodged. And I’m not going to be able to look at all the games played today, so help me out a bit by picking your choices for the good, the bad, and the ugly in the comments or other ways below.

Thank you!

Uni Watch News Ticker
By Phil

Baseball News: The hot stove continues to simmer, but you might not know it from this article announcing the Minnesota Twins will be dumping their home whites for an “all-Kasota gold uniform” — Now, it’s not April 1, but obviously this isn’t real. If the content wasn’t a dead giveaway, the URL should be. … Look closely: “I don’t know if I posted this last time I went there, but the Detroit Historical Museum has a Mark Fidrych rookie jersey in the Lindell AC sports bar exhibit that looks like it was re-numbered,” says Douglas Moon. … Johnny Okray says, “Brewers Kids Club membership offerings putting good use to the new BiG logo and Barrel Man.”

NFL/Pro Football News: ICYMI, the Seattle Seahawks will be wearing their snot green color rash jerseys on Monday Night football, but not the CR pants. Instead, they’ll be wearing their blue pants to create a new uni combo. This is something I have been calling for for almost two years. … Falcons Coach, Dan Quinn, was wearing U.S. Army Airborne wings on his shirt on Thanksgiving (from Timmy Donohue). … The Tennessee Titans will be going mono-blue Sunday (from Titans Uni Tracker), which isn’t that odd, except they’re doing it on the road against Indy, who will be going white at home (a very rare occurrence — according to the GUD, this will be the first time in white jerseys at home since 1995, when they wore blue pants). … At long last the national nightmare is about to end: The XFL will finally unveil uniforms jerseys (actually I’m pretty sure they’ll show the whole uni) this Tuesday, December 3 (from Marcus Hall). Here’s a bit more on that. … The Iggles will wear mono-white against the Dolphins Sunday.

College Football News: For their Senior Day outfits today, the East Carolina Pirates will be wearing matte gray black helmets with the old school throwback ECU Pirate logo decal. … Should THE Ohio State University and the University of Michigan go color vs. color for THE game? Munch Suchland thinks so. … Eastern Michigan is honoring its senior players by putting their numbers on its logo for the 3rd year in a row (from Blaise D’Sylva). … Louisville will be going red/white/red today (from Josh Hinton). … Baylor will wear a new uni combo, gold/green/gold, when they take on Kansas today. … In what could look either really great or really awful, ASU and Arizona will go color v. color for their Territorial Cup game today. You can read more here (from Cole Streeper). … FAU will wear black jerseys & britches today (from Kevin Fielder). … Looks like Iowa football has a painted football field on top of their equipment trailer (from Brett Baker). … ‘Cuse will go Orange/Navy/Orange today vs. Wake Forest (from Jakob Fox). … Georgia Tech will go gold/gold/white vs. Georgia today (hopefully UGA will be wearing red tops). … The awesome Blaise D’Sylva continues his helmet countdown by looking at the helmet history of San Diego State University. … Josh Hinton asks, “Does ESPN honestly expect fans to be able to read the Memphis record on the score bug if they’re not 5 feet away from the screen?” … Oregon will be going mono-green today in the Civil War vs. OSU.

Hockey News: ‘Tis the season: the WHL’s Vancouver Giants will be breaking out some pretty sweet Grinch-themed uniforms on December 6th and 8th. … So, you think the Tampa Bay Lightning’s worst jersey is the one that has “B O L T S” written diagonally down the chest? Well, you’d be wrong. … From Mike Styczen: “Spotted on the internet – this PK Subban 3-team Frankenjersey at (Thursday) night’s Devils-Habs game.” And here’s the dude! (from Hughdini). … Is this hockey jersey for real? Max Weintraub says, “It looks like this team combines the CSA battle flag with the Canadian maple leaf flag. I get that they’re the Rebels, but… seriously?” … “Noticed (last) night the Caps were wearing red makers’ marks on their home helmets,” observes Jonathan Sluss. “They had been white through the last game against Florida.”

NBA News: Tweeter Etienne Catalan has put together a graphic with his choices for best NBA player by uniform number — and points out that there have been 12 never-worn numbers in NBA history. … If you care about such things, here’s the Lakers uniform schedule for the remainder of the season (from Lakers Uni Tracker). … The Kings will be wearing the brand new red unis 14 times this year. Here’s the sked (from Sac Kings Tracker). … Are you one of those folks who thinks the *gold* the Lakers wear is more like highlighter yellow, well, they’re aimin’ to fix that. … To go along with their new alternate unis, the Orlando Magic also have a new court (via Paul).

College Hoops News: Here’s a look at the University of North Carolina’s Garrison Brooks wearing goggles due to a corneal abrasion he suffered on Thursday (from James Gilbert). … So, Ole Miss has jerseys with just an “M” on them now? (from Timmy Donahue). … FAU debuted a new “Paradise Vice” uni yesterday.

Soccer News: Just the crossover we need: Iron Maiden and West Ham United team up for kit collaboration (from Dougie Stardust and Maximiliano). … Ed Żelaski writes, “new Christmas market inspired shirt for Nürnberg.” … New home kit top for Cork City FC (from Ed Żelaski).

Grab Bag: For all you Super Rugby fans out there, the Stormers have unveiled three new jerseys, including one based off Marvel’s “Thor” character. … Under Armour may have lost out on the MLB uni contract, but they’re doubling-down by securing a new deal to design uniforms for space tourists who are set for departure in 2020 on the Virgin Galactic spaceflight company. … Infinite recursion, math teacher tie version (from William Hughes).

84 comments to Shoot or Shite? NBA ‘City’ Uni Ratings

  • Joe | November 30, 2019 at 8:09 am |

    Interesting comment about Orlando’s city jersey, but there airport code is MCO.
    lol

    • MJ | November 30, 2019 at 10:53 am |

      And Charlotte’s is CLT – which creates its own issues.

      • Daniel Tarrant | November 30, 2019 at 4:54 pm |

        True. This is a sore point for Charlotte residents and Hornets fans such as myself. We’ve long gotten past the “CLT” joke, but nobody here refers to the place as “CHA”. Trust me on that one.

        • Gurnf | November 30, 2019 at 5:53 pm |

          There is also Milford, Utah. They have a code. Look it up.

        • Daniel Tarrant | November 30, 2019 at 7:48 pm |

          I looked it up. Ha.

          Just to add a bit about CHA/CLT, I have heard sports radio hosts here complain about how the CHA jerseys should read CLT. And those guys rarely talk about uniforms.

  • Lee | November 30, 2019 at 8:13 am |

    Small, nit picky note of the day:

    ORL is not the airport code for Orlando. It’s MCO.

    Somehow, that makes those uniforms even worse.

  • That Aaron... | November 30, 2019 at 8:14 am |

    I am getting tired of these NBA ratings. There needs to be some new blood or a different way to do this. I get tired of reading all negative thoughts from people who only love classic designs.

    • Peter | November 30, 2019 at 8:49 am |

      Agreed, it wouldn’t hurt to do a little research. Then again, a lot of the content on this site, as Mr. Griffin would say, is “shallow and pedantic”.

      • Mark Price | November 30, 2019 at 10:40 am |

        Yeah I appreciate all the effort and genuine community that sustain this blog, but I am increasingly grated by the sheer negativity that comes with it … re: unis, politics, and anything else in between. In some ways, that’s just how the internet is, but isn’t it kind of clear by now that “how the internet is” is not how we actually want life to be? Good criticism does not mean having a negative disposition; how can we do better here?

        • StLMarty | November 30, 2019 at 11:24 am |

          Uni Watch talks shite about uniforms. You’re talking shite about the people who paved this avenue.

    • Will S | November 30, 2019 at 4:31 pm |

      Though I may not agree with all the rankings, I do agree much of the sentiment for most of them. Airport codes, city nicknames, and pseudo-nicknames have been done to death.

      What was, at best, when they first came out were slightly above mediocre ideas have been beat to death … “sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters”

      Though I do see some of your point – these days, with the state of non-primary uniforms, they could be graded on a curve instead.

  • Martin | November 30, 2019 at 8:36 am |

    The front number on the hornets jersey is gigantic.

  • Kevin | November 30, 2019 at 8:37 am |

    June 15, 1976 for the scoreboard watch. Yankees 4, Twins 2. Rainout in the Astrodome was the first clue.

    • Mark in Shiga | November 30, 2019 at 8:55 am |

      That scoreboard has some fun stuff in it. I notice that the designated hitter, already four years into the “experiment”, still isn’t abbreviated “DH”, but rather “B” (batter?) I’m guessing it’s because the scoreboard only has so many different characters programmed into each slot, and they never made a “D” or an “H” so they used the leftover “B” from “1B”, “2B”, and “3B”.

      Also, metric distances on the walls! What ever happened to those? I say bring them back.

  • RS Rogers | November 30, 2019 at 8:37 am |

    “… but ‘MSP’? Why not go with MPLS if you need to abbreviate it?”

    Because MSP is an abbreviation for Minneapolis-St. Paul, whereas MPLS is an abbreviation for Minneapolis. It’s the Twin Cities, and we’re living in a year later than 1961, so sports teams don’t exclude St. Paul from their names.

    • EMB | November 30, 2019 at 12:10 pm |

      Thanks RS Rogers

      I came to write the same thing.

    • Drew B. | November 30, 2019 at 10:33 pm |

      Exactly.

      I don’t mind the color reference to the MPLS Lakers either. I am a proponent that if a franchise moves the colors, nickname, stats, etc remain with the original market. I would love to see the Wolves wear throwback Laker uniforms.

  • Will S | November 30, 2019 at 8:39 am |

    For the Wizards one, as scrolling by, I saw clc and wondered for a second who the hell it that?
    execution could have been better for that.

    For some of the others I would be waiting with bated breathe for a change from the airport codes and silly nicknames, but I suspect they would pull a “hold my beer” with what they might replace that with.

  • Timmy Donahue | November 30, 2019 at 8:42 am |

    The tetris buildings link in the Denver Nuggets section links to a design your own Mets jersey.

  • Joe Rodgers | November 30, 2019 at 8:53 am |

    How could you review the OKC uniform without mentioning the connection to the bombing? It’s a walking memorial to that tragedy. It’s more than a “classically-designed” set.

    • Joe Rodgers | November 30, 2019 at 9:02 am |
      • StLMarty | November 30, 2019 at 11:28 am |

        Perhaps you could extend those seconds to minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. You will then have yourself a competing blog. You will then be able to dis Uni Watch on a more grandiose scale.

    • Mark Price | November 30, 2019 at 10:52 am |

      This is my frustration with these rankings as well … A lot of “I like it” and “I don’t like it”, which my Art History 101 prof told us on day one is not art criticism, it’s just an emotion (although full disclosure: I got a lot of naps and a D in that class, so I couldn’t tell you what followed). In all seriousness though, there’s 100-1000 different blogs/articles out there with people just telling us how they feel about each uni. Not really what I care to spend my time reading, especially if it’s going to be overwhelmingly derisive. Let’s put some meat on the bone or just post some kind of ranking/sorting with pictures only.

      • RS Rogers | November 30, 2019 at 12:49 pm |

        My main criticism: These uniforms come with several clear categories, but judgment about shared categorical elements was inconsistent. If locally relevant civic abbreviations that are not part of a team’s name are terrible, fine, but then the Wizards DC uniforms are automatically shite. MSP is almost the regional equivalent of DC, so each as a uniform element ought to face the same judgment.

  • Hudson Slaby | November 30, 2019 at 9:15 am |

    I love the Cavs uniforms because they are so ridiculously stupid.

  • Wade Heidt | November 30, 2019 at 9:26 am |

    So the slippery slope has been stepped on. The Seahawks will combine the Color Rash jersey with a set of their regular pants.

    Is it just a matter of time before they wear their navy jersey over the lime green pants?

  • Wade Heidt | November 30, 2019 at 9:31 am |

    I’m all for the NBA dialing this back with all the jerseys. Teams should have home and road, an alternate, maybe a throwback. All in line with their team identities and colours. Designs with the dignity deserved for a Big Four league for teams that have storied histories. Some of these look really minor league.

    Bucks uniform looks like it should be a Mavs uniform. Bulls uniform looks like it should be the Kings.

    So, basically what I am saying is that these are all shite.

    • MJ | November 30, 2019 at 2:32 pm |

      I’ll second this, Wade.
      I would be all for placing limits. I would start with conventionally accepted team colors (Cavs and Nuggets, you’re on your own here – just pick a scheme), so I can tell who’s playing when I turn on the TV. This does not rule out throwbacks, which I generally approve of for their historical context.
      I don’t know how to codify and enforce “dignity” but I totally get what you’re going for.

  • Rich in NOLA | November 30, 2019 at 9:42 am |

    So powder blue is fine for the Heat, even though it’s not a team color, while powder blue for the Bulls (also not a team color) makes them unrecognizable on TV? I’d venture to say that the bull head on the front of the jersey is just as good a distinguishing mark as “Miami” scrawled in white on a powder blue jersey.

    Both are fine and a fun change from time to time.

    • Ran isaacs | November 30, 2019 at 3:28 pm |

      The script, pink, and blue are taken from the logo of the Miami Arena, the Heat’s original home. It is instantly recognized and beloved by the fanbase.

  • Christopher Falvey | November 30, 2019 at 9:43 am |

    Thank you for calling out the word “nawlins.”

  • RICKAZ | November 30, 2019 at 9:47 am |

    I’m thinking the ASU/Arizona game will look awful. Maroon and navy blue are both dark colors, and what makes color v color look great is contrast. At least ASU will have yellow helmets and pants with Arizona wearing white helmets and pants,

  • Tape | November 30, 2019 at 9:54 am |

    You lost me at ‘the Celtics unis is good’

    • RS Rogers | November 30, 2019 at 10:06 am |

      If I were judging these, my standard would be whether it would work for me as a regular home or away uniform. Boston would be high on my list. Along with Philly and Milwaukee.

    • The Fourth Doctor | November 30, 2019 at 12:00 pm |

      I’m not sure how the Celtics uniform looked “in person,” but the numbers were illegible on the TV. But if the uniform was made just to sell merchandise, then I guess that part really doesn’t matter, does it?

  • Josh Hinton | November 30, 2019 at 10:00 am |

    Great lede! In an era where it seems like each team has 5-6 uniforms, it would be nice to have more articles like this, going through each Association/Icon/whatever they call it, so casual fans can keep up!

    Noticed one typo, in the Memphis section:

    “ Dr. King visited Memphis in support of striking sanitation workers — kind was assassinated shortly thereafter).”

    Should read: “workers — King was assassinated shortly thereafter).”

  • Brent | November 30, 2019 at 10:08 am |

    The NBA jerseys, with the exception of the Lakers and Sixers, are beyond insipid. We’re all stupider for having seen them.

  • ThresherK | November 30, 2019 at 10:18 am |

    “This will be the first time in white jerseys at home (for the Colts) since 1995, when they wore blue pants…”

    As something of a Colts fan I remember that the blue pants then were described as lighter than the royal blue we’re used to, more of a “Carolina blue”. (Whether that’s UNC or Panthers I don’t know.)

  • ryan | November 30, 2019 at 10:22 am |

    the knicks city jersey is the same as last year’s, and they also haven’t officially announced it yet. the FDNY was two seasons ago.

  • Jonathan Sluss | November 30, 2019 at 10:26 am |

    Caps/Panthers image is from last year in Florida. They played Wednesday Night in DC with the Caps having the white makers’ marks.

  • Ian | November 30, 2019 at 10:34 am |

    The Knicks FDNY uniforms were two years ago, not last year. I’d like to see them use the Knicks script from the logo they’ve had since 1992 on a uniform.

    Also referencing 1992, the Hornets uniforms are Wayne’s World inspired. CHA? Right? If they want to use “CHA”, maybe have a Cha Cha Slide theme?

    The Warriors Town jerseys seem weird now that they’ve left The Town (Oakland) for The City (San Francisco). I guess they don’t want to alienate fans in Oakland.

  • Aaron | November 30, 2019 at 10:54 am |

    The Milwaukee type face is more or less the Milwaukee Tool (think the famous Sawz-all) typeface.

    https://www.milwaukeetool.com/

    The shorts M…?

    • RS Rogers | November 30, 2019 at 12:44 pm |

      The shorts M is from the bottom of the current primary deer logo.

  • MJ | November 30, 2019 at 10:57 am |

    I wish the Eagles would break out the green pants tomorrow. The Dolphins are going aqua over white; going white over green would provide good contrast. I keep waiting for this current phase of monochromatic (including all-white or all-black) to fizzle out but we’re not at critical mass yet. Same for the 5th/6th/7th uniform sets. At some point, the public is going to say “enough” – right?

  • John F. | November 30, 2019 at 11:34 am |

    This is the second time the Nets are paying tribute to Biggie Smalls, this time on their ridiculous Bed Stuy uniforms. Are there no other notable Brooklyn residents worthy of recognition? How about a Jackie Gleason jersey, he was from Bedford Stuyvesant.

    • StLMarty | November 30, 2019 at 11:54 am |

      They could morph the obligatory basketball-in-the-logo into Ralph Kramden.

  • Rusty | November 30, 2019 at 11:52 am |

    So they essentially took the city flag and turned it into a jersey for the Chicago Bulls for their ‘city’ unis, yet somehow it is shite? Do you want them to plaster guns and tall buildings on the jerseys to better represent the city?! There is a reason you’re buried on the weekend content.

    • StLMarty | November 30, 2019 at 11:59 am |

      I have to call it quits for the day. Dis tracks on uni’s are A-okay with me. Dis tracks on the people who bring this content are not.
      Less (mean) is more.

      • Rusty | November 30, 2019 at 1:17 pm |

        I mean maybe do the littlest amount of research into why a uniform is designed the way it is? If you don’t like a uni that’s fine, but at least have a valid reason. Oh I don’t think of Chicago when I see blue. Yet he even mentions it has elements of the flag. It fucking makes sense. Turns out, dude is just an idiot. Don’t forget, blue makes sense for Miami, somehow.

        • StLMarty | November 30, 2019 at 7:31 pm |

          Just sleep happily on your piles of money. That’s my only bit of advice. It isn’t much.

    • StLMarty | November 30, 2019 at 12:02 pm |

      Less (mean) is more.

  • aflfan | November 30, 2019 at 12:17 pm |

    The Detroit Pistons look like a cheap rip off of an Australian Football League jersey.

  • Johnny V | November 30, 2019 at 12:29 pm |

    “The navy is way too dark, too.”

    Because that’s not navy… nor is navy a Knicks color.

  • Poppy Nurse | November 30, 2019 at 12:42 pm |

    In sign language, a user will mouth “CHA” along with signing the concept of something being large or the largest. The Charlotte unis certainly are a large amount of something.

    • Rob S | November 30, 2019 at 4:34 pm |

      The “CHA” still makes me think of the Tick interrupting Chairface Chippendale’s attempt to carve his name into the moon.

      • Matthew GBR | November 30, 2019 at 6:53 pm |

        Yes!! You win the Internet.

  • Michael | November 30, 2019 at 2:09 pm |

    Chiming in here to agree that while a lot of these unis are bad, the sheer negativity of this post turned me off.

  • Noel | November 30, 2019 at 3:14 pm |

    Removing comments again? Do you burn books as well?

    • Phil Hecken | November 30, 2019 at 3:17 pm |

      Unless Paul did it, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I haven’t removed or blocked any comments today.

    • Paul Lukas | November 30, 2019 at 3:20 pm |

      I did it, Noel, because you used a derogatory term when referring to Terry D.

      And no, that’s not book-burning. That just enforcing standards of courtesy and decency. Please observe those standards in the future. Thanks.

    • Neeko2 | November 30, 2019 at 4:13 pm |

      My comments only make it thru if they are complimentary

      • Paul Lukas | November 30, 2019 at 4:20 pm |

        Actually, Neeko, that is demonstrably false. Here are some comments of yours that have gone thru in the past few weeks:

        • “The Bucks state logo has the blue representing the bodies of water surrounding Wisconsin for sure. Who knows on this new uni”

        • “Also, that’s Adam Ferrone ‘Rone’ in the pic—he’s a world champion battle rapper from Philly”
        https://mobile.twitter.com/_rone?lang=en

        • “Of course he had an ax to grind. I don’t think it’s Deadspin’s job to out him as a gay man. I was a big Deadspin fan but not everything they did was so moral.”

        None of those comments was “complimentary” (which is not surprising, because the reality is that your comments are almost never complimentary or positive about anything), but they all made valid contributions to a discussion. No problem with any of them.

        In short: Your comments go thru when you comment in good faith.

        They don’t make it thru when you advocate crackpot conspiracy theories (as you and I have discussed off-site), when you insult other commenters (as you try to do fairly frequently, including today), when you make unfounded assertions, when you use inflammatory language, and when you engage in other bad-faith activities.

        Good-faith discussion and critique are welcome. Trolling is not. That has always been the case here, and will always continue to be the case. Observe those standards and you’ll be fine. Thanks.

  • Steve Crouser | November 30, 2019 at 3:32 pm |

    NOLA is played out how? That’s like saying “NYC” is played out. It is completely legitimate and your complaint is not.

    • Rich in NOLA | November 30, 2019 at 10:50 pm |

      I agree, especially given the fact that many of us in the metro area refer to the city as “NOLA” regularly.

  • Ran Isaacs | November 30, 2019 at 3:36 pm |

    As soon as I saw the Rockets jersey, I had flashbacks to the early 90s and teenage love. If the surviving members of Knockin’ Da Boots crooners H-Town aren’t featured during one of the games this Jersey is worn, the Rockets will have blown it.

  • Robert | November 30, 2019 at 4:26 pm |

    Every complaint from somebody like me—middle aged dude—makes me think the Mavericks may have gotten this one right. That uni isn’t for us; it’s for a younger audience.

  • Zachary M Wooldridge | November 30, 2019 at 4:43 pm |

    Louisville ended up not wearing the uni combo they tweeted they would wear against Kentucky today and ended up wearing their all white with black trim Muhammad Ali unis.

  • Greg C. | November 30, 2019 at 4:43 pm |

    No way, the Buckeyes look better in white anyways! Stay true!

    GO BUCKS!

  • Daniel Tarrant | November 30, 2019 at 4:56 pm |

    Sure, the Nets do not play in Bed-Stuy. But that doesn’t mean they can’t represent it as probably the most well-known neighborhood in Brooklyn.

    I mean, the Jets and Giants don’t play in New York. The Cowboys don’t play in Dallas, the Bills don’t play in Buffalo, and so forth.

    • Paul Lukas | November 30, 2019 at 5:24 pm |

      Dan, it’s fascinating how in the space of two comments you’ve gone from “trust me on Charlotte-related stuff because I live here” to “I don’t live in Brooklyn but I’ll tell you what their best-known neighborhood is.”

      It’s not Bed-Stuy. Trust me. ;)

      • Daniel Tarrant | November 30, 2019 at 7:37 pm |

        Paul…a fair point (although you could have told us what Brooklyn’s best-known neighborhood actually is), but I would counter that somebody who doesn’t live in or near Brooklyn would be a better judge of what the “best-known” neighborhood is than a resident since we’d be more likely to have heard of the best-known places there than the lesser-known.

        Now, if you were to tell us, “this is what people in Brooklyn think”, I’d totally take your word for it.

        • John F. | November 30, 2019 at 9:43 pm |

          Good point about a non-Brooklynite probably being a better judge of what’s the most famous neighborhood but as a former Brooklynite, I’m guessing Coney Island beats Bed Stuy.

    • John F. | November 30, 2019 at 7:27 pm |

      In all of those cases, the population of the team’s named city is larger than the population of the town where the stadium is located and better represents the teams’ fan base. Bed Stuy is only 6% of Brooklyn’s population….and Buffalo Bills sounds a hell of a lot better than the Orchard Park Bills ; )

      • Daniel Tarrant | November 30, 2019 at 7:38 pm |

        You’re right, and I’m not saying it’s exactly the same thing, but if the complaint is that the Nets don’t actually play in Bed-Stuy, I was just pointing out that a team can “represent” an area that they don’t literally play their games in.

        • John F. | November 30, 2019 at 9:45 pm |

          Just reread your post and acknowledge your point.

  • Rainbow Guts | November 30, 2019 at 5:59 pm |

    Hot-stove (literally!) news ….

    This weekend is the opening weekend of the Australia Baseball League. One of the teams celebrating its 30th Anniversary is the Perth Heat.

    Back in 1989, Perth wore Tequila Sunrise uniforms. They’re (kind of) back this year. They’re being sold in the team store and being worn by the bat-kids, but the team is wearing Rainbow Sleeves on the field for now.

  • Tony Kellogg | November 30, 2019 at 7:00 pm |

    I’ve said this time and time again, and I’ll repeat it again: I think this is the NBA’s way of ruining all of the team’s identities. This way, when, say, the Cavaliers come out with a jersey that just has the Goodyear logo on it, it won’t look out of place. Disgusting.

  • Don | November 30, 2019 at 7:57 pm |

    That Seattle NHL concept tries wayyyy too hard to be clever. And fails.

  • Rob Z. | November 30, 2019 at 10:47 pm |

    NBA taking a page out of NCAA football’s book of ridiculous uniforms.

  • Giovanny Jaramillo | December 1, 2019 at 1:29 am |

    This will be the 4th time this season that the Seahawks have worn an alternate jersey. Did they get a waiver from the league.?

  • Alex Ridoré | December 3, 2019 at 11:50 pm |

    Currently watching Portland Trailblazers at Los Angeles Clippers. Both teams wearing some other uniform that’s not their regular uniform. It took me like 5 minutes to figure out who was who since for some reason the Clippers decided tonight, against the Blazers, was the night to wear diagonal stripes. Slowly but surely Nike and the NBA are removing any sort of identity a team can have through its uniform. Every night is dress up night. Every color combination and design is available no matter who you are. Are people actually buying these jerseys? If they’re not than what’s the point? Are we even cheering for laundry anymore if they’re just wearing new clothing every night?