Word came down yesterday that Dodgers outfielder Jason Heyward has signed a one-year contract extension to remain with the team in 2024, and I, for one, couldn’t be happier.
As I’ve occasionally mentioned before, Heyward has long gotten my vote as MLB’s most aesthetically pleasing player. For starters, his bodily proportions feel Just Right. Not just the proportions of his torso to his limbs, but also his upper arms to his forearms, his thighs to his calves, and his shoulders to his waist. Like Tom Brady, Marvin Hagler, and a handful of other athletes, Heyward seems like what you’d get if you were designing an athlete with drafting software or in a laboratory. He even has good posture! Some other ballplayers are more physically charismatic due to their mannerisms (a pitcher’s windup, a batter’s stance, etc.), but no other ballplayer — or at least none that I can think of — starts out with such an ideal specimen of a physique as Heyward.
Even better, Heyward has always showcased that physique by wearing a fairly trim-tailored uniform. There’s no bagginess, no excess fabric flapping around, and the jersey always drapes really nicely on his frame. I even love the way he tucks his jersey into his pants with a nice blousing effect:
He looks so good, I don’t even mind when he goes low-cuffed — although it’s a nice bonus when he goes high-cuffed:
Happily for all of us, Heyward has played the last nine seasons for the Cardinals, Cubs, and Dodgers — teams whose classic uniforms have been a good match for his classic silhouette. Can you imagine if he played for a team like the Marlins, or the Diamondbacks? What a waste that would be.
So I was heartened to hear that he’ll be spending at least one more year in a Dodgers uni. Of course, I wouldn’t mind seeing him in a Mets uni, but I don’t want to be greedy — Heyward’s on-field presence is a visual gift to all of us, no matter which team he’s playing for. I’m just glad he’ll be wearing a uniform that befits his noble bearing.
I agree about Heyward. I still maintain that Tom Brady is the ultimate “looks good in the uniform” guy in the NFL.
Followed closely by Warren Moon…
Brady’s socks over his shoes always threw me off.
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my wife always used to say that Tom Brady is more attractive when he’s wearing a helmet, which i think is one of the all time great back-handed compliments.
Bet she never says that about Jimmy Garoppolo! :0
OTTOMH, it’s Montana:
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…then the rest of the field.
IMO, the Riddell SpeedFlex ruined Tom Brady’s aesthetic, but I also think it’s a hideous helmet to begin with. Tom Brady in the classic VSR4 was it.
My Best-Looking MLB Player? Rickey Henderson. Even as an Anaheim Angel.
I’m a Red Sox fan. I hate the Dodgers for multiple reasons including the fact that I’m also a Chelsea fan and can’t stand Todd Boehly. I will admit that, objectively, the Dodgers have the best uniforms in MLB. I love the Red Sox home whites, I love Baltimore’s black & orange, I love all the baby blues. But the Dodgers ultimately top them all in the looks department. Especially the grey Dodgers away. IDK what it is about that one but man I love that shirt.
Weird typo, it says Heward on the main page but not in the article.
I think of Heyward more like Jimmy G. He looks so good he fooled everyone into thinking he was a great player and suddenly he’s getting 20M for replacement level production.
This would make for an interesting deep dive. Players that just look aesthetically great in uniform
If there’s an all-time list of players who look great in uniform, here’s my nominee:
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Sorry I couldn’t find a better example.
We need a Jared Lorenzen entry to counter now…
The hefty lefty, baby!
“Happily for all of us, Heyward has played the last nine seasons for the Cardinals, Cubs, and Dodgers”
Salty Paul, it’s not like he was a Chipper Jones level Met killer during his time with the Braves
was thinking the same thing!
Off the top of my head:
NFL: DeMarcus Ware and Darrell Green
NBA: Michael Jordan
MLB: Ken Griffey Jr. and, though I hate to admit it, Alex Rodriguez (high-cuffed)
I half-expected this post to conclude with a disclaimer and “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
I always thought that mookie betts was the ballplayer that looked most like a ballplayer.
And, oddly enough, the least like a bowler.
My two favorites from when I was a kid in the ’80s were Bo Jackson in the Royals powder blue and Rickey Henderson in the A’s home whites.
I remember watched Heyward play High A ball with the Myrtle Beach Pelicans. Talk about a uniform…
Great to still see him playing as most of the players I saw at MB are retired, WainO included.
I’ve always thought Xander Bogaerts wore his uniform just right
Michael Jordan in any uniform in any sports. OK, maybe in baseball Satchel Paige, Roberto Clemente or Jackie Robinson looked slightly better. And in football maybe Dick Butkus or Mean Joe Greene. But in all other sports Jordan would look the best.
Eric Lindros could fit in as a Phillie and an Eagle(note the helmet/jersey color)…but maybe not a Sixer (though I do like that style of jersey):
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As seen in the comments, he’d probably look great in a particular stock car fire suit, too!
You would never write about a female athlete’s body that way — “her thighs to her calves” — because everybody would call it out for what it is: creepy objectification.
You’re right, I wouldn’t objectify a woman that way. That’s because men’s millennia-long history of objectifying women is also tied to men’s millennia-long history of treating women like they’re dumb, belittling them, denying them the vote, underpaying them, barring them from certain jobs, telling them they should stay “in the home,” denying them control over their bodies, beating them, raping them, trafficking them, stacking the legal system against them, etc., etc. In other words, men objectifying women has always been about power, control, and oppression, and I wouldn’t want to do anything even vaguely evocative of that.
There is no similar history of men objectifying other men and then treating them that way. In fact, the sports world objectifies male athletes, including their various bady parts, all the time. The NFL Combine is practically a livestock auction!
I just think Jason Heyward looks good out there, so I explained why. If you need to believe that that’s “creepy,” you’re certainly entitled to that point of view. I hope telling me that made you feel better.
THE Greatest Athlete Body of All Time
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