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Help Wanted

Would you like to work long hours for low pay? Have you always fantasized about having one of the internet’s most persnickety readerships pointing out your every misspelling and coding error? Does typing three consecutive periods, many times per day, sound like your idea of fun?

If this sounds like you, then I may have just what you’re looking for. Kris Gross, who’s been producing the Tickers that appear on Fridays for the past year, will soon be leaving us, so I’m currently in the market for a new Ticker intern. Here are the basics:

1. The job will require you to be on Ticker duty roughly from 8am local time to 9:30pm Eastern each Thursday. Being “on Ticker duty” means (a) monitoring all the email sent to the Uni Watch email account and all the mentions on the Uni Watch Twitter account; (b) compiling all of that content into a draft of the Ticker that will run on Friday, and having that draft ready and waiting for me when I wake up on Friday morning; and (c) evaluating which emails and/or tweets, if any, need to be forwarded to me (which is arguably the most important part of the job). You don’t have to be glued to your computer all day long, but you do need to check those email and Twitter accounts at least every 90 minutes or so, just in case there’s breaking news or something that needs immediate attention.

2. Once you get settled into Tickering, there will also be the opportunity (and occasionally the need) for you to write non-Ticker content.

3. The gig comes with a small stipend that is completely insufficient to cover the work involved, which should be an excellent introduction to the financial realities that await you in the larger world of journalism.

4. All of the following are required:

• A detail-oriented mindset.
• A knack for critical thinking.
• Excellent writing and grammar skills.
• Excellent organizational and multi-tasking skills.
• Excellent communication skills.
• A strong working knowledge of Uni Watch.
• A strong working knowledge of pro and college sports.
• A strong sense of responsibility and dependability.
• Some experience with HTML.

5. Any of the following, while not necessarily required, would be a big plus:

• Some experience and/or education in journalism.
• A decent working knowledge of AP style.
• Some knowledge of, and enthusiasm for, graphic design.
• Some experience with WordPress.
• A dry sense of humor.
• A college major that is not sports marketing.

6. Although most of the people who’ve filled this position in the recent past have been young people looking to jump-start their media careers, I’d also be happy to work with someone older. There’s no minimum or maximum age.

7. You may have noticed, or at least intuited, that the Uni Watch team is currently comprised exclusively of straight white males. In a perfect world, I would prefer to have a more diverse roster. That’s not to say I’ll pick a less-qualified candidate just for the sake of diversity, but if you think you have the chops and you fall outside of our current narrow demographic range, I’m definitely encouraging you to apply.

Still interested? If so, drop me a line. Your email should include (a) a few paragraphs explaining who you are and why you’re the right person for the job; (b) some suggestions for how Uni Watch could be improved (other than by hiring you); (c) links to two pieces of published writing you’ve done (it would be good if at least one of those pieces is not sports-related); and (d) something else — surprise me.

I apologize in advance for not being able to respond to each applicant personally. Please don’t follow up with additional emails asking if I received your first note — if you’re in the running, you’ll definitely be hearing from me. Thanks!