[Editor’s Note: Paul is on his annual August break from site (although he’s still writing his weekly Bulletin column and may pop up here on the blog occasionally). Deputy editor Phil Hecken is in charge from now through the end of the month.]
Good Friday morning, Uni Watch nation. I hope you’ve all had a good week!
With the Premier League (the top level of the English football league system) kicking off today, it’s time to take a look at the kits for the 20 teams who will be playing in the league this season. As most readers know, I’m not a soccer guy (I love the World Cup and major tourneys like the Euro, but I just haven’t gotten into any leagues — MLS or International — yet). But I know a good number of readers are footy fans, and today I’m joined by Michael Simpson, who’s going to bring you the rundown of the PL kits for 2022-23. There’s a LOT to get to, so I’ll turn it over to Michael now:
by Michael Simpson
The start of the English Premier League is upon us, and Uni Watch has your complete guide to the best (and worst) dressed teams in 2022-23.
Home: For as long as I’ve been a soccer fan, Arsenal’s home kit has been red with white sleeves. It’s an iconic look, and I hope the concept never changes. Points for the collar returning in 2022-23, but the lightning bolts on the collar look a bit hokey.
Away: The all-black away kit is solid. Points for the graphic detail, replacing the crest with the cannon silhouette, and the gold font color. I’d do away with the shoulder stripes, though.
Third: The third kit is the best of all. Huge points for the subtle ermines throughout the powder pink pattern. Points for the v-neck design and color choices – navy collar trimmed in teal.
Home: Like Arsenal, Villa continues to sport the two-tone solid shirt/solid sleeves concept at home. My problem here is the colors. Yes – I know these are Villa’s colors – and that teams wear their main colors at home. I just think the design with these colors is odd. Points for the V-neck design. Lose the weird dots under the armpits.
Away: This away kit is a bit better than Villa’s home kit, but it’s still basic at best. Points for the V-neck, the maroon as an accent to the powder blue looks sharp. Points for the shoulder trim. Points for the two-tone crest instead of full color.
Third: Villa’s black and yellow gold kit might be their best, but we’ll likely see it only a handful of times. I don’t get the fascination with armpit dots, but I do like the yellow stripe running beneath them. Great detail in the torso and sleeves of the shirt. Points for the V-neck, points for the trim on the collar and cuffs.
Home: Bournemouth’s home kit might be their best, but that’s not saying much. I usually like a combination of black and red, but these jerseys even got that wrong. Is the shirt red? Is it black? Are there three stripes or two? The design is just too busy.
Away: Oh boy. These are atrocious. They are so. very. bad. This looks like a shirt my 6-year-old daughter would wear to the beach in what must be a nod to how the city is situated on the country’s southern coast. But still, it’s so, so bad. Two shades of purple, pink and teal…palm trees? To cap it off, the jersey sports a barely distinguishable two-tone crest in white and…you guessed it –- purple!
Third: These aren’t atrocious, but that’s about the best thing I can say about them. I mean, it’s hard to go completely wrong with one solid color.
Home: The red and white stripes remind me of Chivas de Guadalajara. The reason for this is either because Chivas is a more relevant club or because I’m writing this while watching the 2022 Leagues Cup. Admittedly, I’m unsure which club was first to wear the design. Worst part of this kit is the sponsorship branding. Trimming the font in white looks real bad, and the star logo disappearing into the white stripes almost looks like a mistake.
Away: Nothing special about the design and colors. Same as their home kits, the away kit looks good, not great. Huge points for the texture throughout the torso. Points for simplicity of the crest.
Third: Brentford reportedly have third kits, but this reporter is unable to find a credible source or clear picture, so I’ll reserve judgment for now.
Home: The jerseys themselves are solid. My biggest critique would be the yellow center pinstripe, though I don’t know that would make them much better. Points for the cuffs trimmed in gold to match the collar, but what does it for me is that these will be worn with solid white shorts. It’s a sharp look and a solid kit.
Away: Another really solid (in quality, not color) kit. Points for good use of the gradient across the torso. Sponsorship font looks clean and simple. Would consider changing the shorts from orange to black.
Third: Good choice for an alternate color. Continuous graphics throughout shoulders sleeves is a unique look, and this design is good. Brighton’s third kit as the same strengths as its away kit.
Home: Chelsea have some of the worst home kits in the world, and their home jersey might be the worst of all. They aren’t aided by the fact that every player wears an awkward ‘3’ on the front due to their main kit sponsor. The only piece of flare is the collar, and it just looks out of place.
Away: The away kit is better, though that’s not a high bar to leap. The hoops contain a pinstripe matching the trim of the cuffs. The teal and white graphic design looks much better here than on the collar of the home jersey.
Third: Chelsea’s third kit is decent in color and design. Two stripes on the cuffs make it pop, and the orange, specifically, is a nice touch.
Home: Palace might have the best uniforms in the premier league this season. The home kit looks like what Bournemouth was trying to do, but couldn’t. The busy graphics are toned down by solid, bright white branding. Huge points for the trimming on the collar and cuffs – it’s all in the details!
Away: Again, great design and color scheme. The away kit is the perfect mix of simple and flashy.
Third: Palace’s third kit takes the some of the best features of the home kit and does its own thing. Contrasting collar and cuffs look great against the solid dark shirt. I don’t think it’s my favorite of the group, but these all are so good it’s hard to choose.
Home: The best part about Everton’s home uniform is it’s crest and the way it contrasts with the solid white shorts. There’s nice detail in the torso, but that’s about it. The white armpit is an odd design choice.
Away: Everton’s away kit caught me off guard at first glance, but it is actually decent. The graphics are good but clash with the font/sponsorship color and the crest itself. It’s good, not great.
Third: Rumored, but no confirmed third kit.
Home: There’s some good detail in Fulham’s home jersey. I like the red coloring on the collar, and the contrast provided by the three shoulder stripes. It’s basic, but it works.
Away: Fulham went with a busier design for the away jersey, and it works too. Solid sleeves with decent graphic design through the torso. No color clashing with the font/sponsor design. Crest blends nicely but can still be seen.
Home: Leeds will look sharp in their home opener wearing these white shirts with navy and subtle yellow accents. They aren’t over the top, but they pop.
Away: I love the design on Leeds’s away kit. Anytime you can pull off mis-matching colors on the shoulder, it’s big points for me. These kits do that. I’m a little lost on the font coloring – they went with a clashing yellow trim on top of…yellow?
Home: Nothing special about this home kit. I like collars, but this one is awkwardly wide and reminiscent of a style long passed. There’s a charming simplicity to it but nothing special about it.
Away: There seems to be some confusion related to which kits Leicester will wear as their away kit, so I will reserve judgment here.
Third: Leicester’s third kit is one of the best in the premier league. Huge points for the texture and detail woven throughout the torso, which includes hits of gold. The maroon trim on the solid gold sleeves is a classy touch.
Home: The iconic, solid red home kit is plain and basic at first glance – until you see the texture and detail woven throughout. It’s the epitome of simplicity and class. Huge points for the extra detail on the cuffs. This will be the most underrated kit in the premier league this year.
Away: Fun design that’s busy but not overpowering. Points for the stylish uneven trimming on the cuffs. Biggest concern is how it might look on TV.
Third: Liverpool do not have a confirmed third kit this year, but most people believe it will be a version solid yellow. I will reserve judgment here.
Home: The defending champs will sport light blue at home, of course. It’s a solid color scheme, but the centered crest and Puma logo look awkward in the 2022-23 version of this kit. The trimming on the collar and cuffs matches in color but not ratio. The white stripe on the cuff is much thicker than the white pinstripe on the collar, and that’s awkward.
Away: A red and black color scheme miles ahead of Bournemouth’s. Good colors, boring design, though.
Third: No confirmed third kit, but they’ll likely have one.
Home: In one word: weird. Of course, it’s going to be red, but the three black shoulder stripes clash hard with a white collar that has…triangles?
Away: Clean look made dirty with the gaudy black shield around the team crest. Points for the V-neck design. Huge points for the diamonds found on the collar and cuffs.
Third: No confirmed third kit, but they’ll likely have one.
Home: Newcastle continues to sport their iconic black and white stripes at home, and the 2022-23 version is contrasted with baby blue font coloring/branding. It doesn’t quite match the blue at the bottom of the team’s crest, but it’s close.
Away: The light navy away kit paired with gold is sharp. Huge points for the gold sleeve graphics.
Third: White contrasted by a bit of green is a great color scheme, and this design is solid. Points for the V-neck and for the trimming on the collar and cuffs. The crest is toned down and classy.
Home: Another version of solid red but with character. Like Liverpool, this jersey has some toned-down texture and design woven into the solid red color scheme. It’s a clean, clean look.
Away: These are some of my favorite away kits in the Premier League this season. Huge points for the green and yellow sleeve design on an otherwise solid yellow shirt. The blue shorts being trimmed with the same pattern as the jersey’s sleeves give the kit a nice symmetry. As a friend of mine said, these could perhaps be one of the best kits in the league if they didn’t belong to Nottingham Forest.
Third: No confirmed third kit.
Home: Good color scheme but do away with the black vertical stripes. Points for the subtle graphic design found in the white space.
Away: Yikes. I feel like I’m looking at a collection of hands reaching up from the earth to grab an innocent passerby. That’s obviously not what the Southampton design team was going for, but man, this is just too busy. The only part of this jersey I can look at for more than two seconds is the sponsor’s logo –- maybe that’s a feature, not a bug.
Third: No confirmed third kit.
Home: Tottenham’s home kits are always clean. Navy on white is a good look, and this year features a hint of yellow on the collar and cuffs. Huge points on the texture found both on the jersey and shorts.
Away: I audibly groaned –- in a room by myself -– the first time I saw these jerseys. What’s going on here? It looks like they took the ref’s kit and photoshopped a solid blue patch onto the torso.
Third: No confirmed third kit.
Home: The similar color schemes make it natural to compare West Ham’s home kits to Aston Villa’s, and West Ham clearly wins that matchup. Points for the shoulder design.
Away: Solid black with subtle texture in the main torso. The cuff design seems random, but fun.
Third: No confirmed third kit
Home: Wolverhampton is far from the most popular – or skilled – team in the Premier League, but their mustard yellow kits are iconic. This year’s design is decent but not special.
Away: Wolverhampton’s away kit is a really good uniform. Points for minimalistic graphics on the torso and subtle mustard yellow to contrast the teal.
Third: There are rumors but no confirmation of a third kit.