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EXCLUSIVE Highlights of Bucs/Rams Color Rash Game

I think that about covers it. If you somehow need more, look here.

Oh, okay — here.

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Friday Flashback: My weekly Friday Flashback piece on ESPN takes a look at various methods used by football players to keep their hands warm, from pockets sewn into jerseys (see above) to the Pupello pocket and more. Check it out here.

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Year-end raffle reminder: In case you missed it earlier this week, I’m giving away lots of very cool stuff in my annual year-end reader-appreciation raffle. Check it out here.

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Leafs-redesign contest reminder: My latest ESPN design contest is a challenge to redesign the Maple Leafs. Full details here.

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T-Shirt Club year-end prize update: In case you missed it yesterday, the prize for those of you who ordered all 12 of the Uni Watch T-Shirt Club’s designs has arrived. Check it out:

For all of you who’ve already claimed your prize, your patches are mailing out today. If you’re eligible for the prize but haven’t yet claimed it, you need to prove that you ordered all 12 shirts by either (a) taking a photo of the 12 shirts or (b) taking screen shots of your 12 order-confirmation emails from Teespring and putting the 12 shots into a folder. Then email the photo or the folder to (note that this is a new address — please do not send your proof to the regular Uni Watch email address), and be sure to include your mailing address so I know where to mail your patch.

Incidentally, it’s been fun to see the photos sent in by the “collect ’em all”-ers, who’ve taken varying approaches to documenting their 12 T-shirts. I’ve gathered a bunch of the photos into this gallery (if you can’t see the slideshow below, click here):

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Gift Memberships: Want to get a Uni Watch membership card for someone this holiday season but don’t know which design to get for the lucky recipient? Here’s an easy solution: Purchase a gift membership. We’ll send you a voucher that you can give to your special person, who can then redeem it with me.

You can order a gift membership here. And as always, you of course you can order a custome designed card here, you can see all the cards we’ve designed so far here, and you can see how we produce the cards here.

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Click photos to enlarge

Grommets, continued: Yesterday I showed you grommetized Swiss cheese. Today, as you can see above, I’m sticking with the deli counter theme. I ask you: Why settle for olive loaf when you can have grommet loaf?

The cheese and the cold cuts made an appetizing pair (I added the capers just because):

Incidentally, part of the fun of this project is getting to punch holes in things and ending up with very satisfying little pucks of bread, or meat, or cheese, or whatever. In this case, I particularly like that two of the olive loaf divots included little shards of olive:

Meanwhile, a question for all of you: I want to set up a website and/or an Instagram account for this project, but first it needs a name. I’m usually pretty good at coming up with snappy names for creative projects (Permanent Record, Inconspicuous Consumption, One-Man Focus Group, Uni Watch, etc.), but this one has been stumping me. The best ones I’ve come with, none of which I’m completely satisfied with, are these:

Grommet Project
Chronic Grommet
Grommet on It
Grommet? On It!
Induce Grommeting
Let Me Grommet That for You
Processed Food
Factory Food
Hole Foods

Feedback, brainstorming, and further suggestions welcome.

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The Ticker
By Paul

Baseball News: John Fetterman, a U.S. Senate candidate in Pennsylvania, posted a childhood photo of himself in his Little League uniform — with what appears to be an NFL belt buckle! (From Sean Spitzer.) ”¦ Blue Jays P Marcus Stroman has unveiled a new set of personal logos (from Marc Bauche). ”¦ Here’s something you don’t often see for sale: a game-used 1970s Phillies usherette jacket. ”¦ Love the sleeve patch on this vintage Vermont jersey. Here’s a closer look at the patch.

NFL News: Rams DE William Hayes had “12” inscribed on his helmet last night, presumably a gesture of support for teammate Stedman Bailey, who was shot last month (screen shot from @RNs_Funhouse). ”¦ From that same game: In keeping with the Color Rash theme, the Rams turned their end zones and midfield logo yellow. “The end zones were pretty much the same treatment as for throwback games, but the midfield logo was a first,” notes Chris Callan). ”¦ Not sure what took them so long to do this: Every NFL logo redesigned as Donald Trump (blame Matt Fedorka). ”¦ Love the multi-colored sleeve striping on this 1957 49ers jersey (from Jeff Flynn). ”¦ NFL helmets, something-something, Star Wars, something-something, whatever (from AW Rader).

College and High School Football News: Here’s Utah’s uniform for the Automotive Lubricants Bowl, Ohio’s uni for the TV Broadcasting Bowl, and the jersey patch for the Cheap Lodging Bowl. ”¦ Meanwhile, the Hawkeye logo on Iowa’s equipment truck now has a rose. Will they be making that same logo adjustment on their helmets for the Rose Bowl? ”¦ College football playoff unis, something-something, Star Wars, something-something, whatever (from Phil). ”¦ In a related item, this Wall Street Journal article begins like so: “It may seem like sheer coincidence that ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ and college football’s bowl season open on the same weekend. But on closer inspection, these two fantastical worlds aren’t so far, far apart. Both feature absurd costumes, ridiculous names, and copious amounts of corporate branding.” Amen (from Doug Keklak). ”¦ This is interesting: American football is becoming increasingly popular at Israeli high schools, in part because local teens view the game as a good way to prepare for military service, which is compulsory for most Israeli citizens. No mention of camouflage uniforms. ”¦ Here’s the number font that Oregon will be wearing in the Petrochemical Bowl.

Hockey News: Here’s one publication’s view on which NHL teams are most in need of a makeover. Very first word of the piece is “Rebranding,” which is a strong giveaway that the people who wrote the piece don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about (from Chris Bisbee). ”¦ Ugly sweater jerseys on Saturday for the Binghamton Senators. ”¦ Someone in Edmonton has designed rainbow-patterned stick tape to support LGBT youth.

NBA News: A special ball design for the Xmas Day games? Sure, why not, wheee! It will apparently be accented with snowflakes. While they’re at it, why not make the nets snowflake-patterned too? And maybe the refs can wear Santa beards. And, and, and ”¦ The contest to name the Bulls’ new D-League team is down to three finalists (from Ryan Lindemann). ”¦ Cavs and Thunder went color vs. color last night in Cleveland.

College Hoops News: New throwback design this weekend for Seton Hall. Not a bad design, although it’s too bad about the collar, and the Springsteen tie-in is the sort of nonsense that makes it so hard to take the uni-verse seriously these days. Look, it’s a nice uniform — just wear it and stop trying to spin it into some kind of bullshit pop culture marketing narrative.

Grab Bag: A state legislator in Alabama wants the Confederate flag to be removed from state trooper uniforms, a move that seems, oh, a century or so overdue. ”¦ Pitt will unveil new script uniforms for all sports in May (thanks, Phil). ”¦ Lots of great 1970s and ’80s sports pics in this Twitter feed. ”¦ Auburn’s various sports teams broke out lots of new uniforms in 2015, and Clint Richardson has provided a round-up of them.

Comments (116)

    Second for “Hole Foods”. Just hope you don’t get a cease and desist from the corporate behemoth.

    I’ll enthusiastically third this.
    To be balanced, I will also third the concerns over this weird grommet fetish.

    I will also third the concerns over this weird grommet fetish.

    I find it fascinating that people who flock to a niche-specific website — a website where they pursue their obsession with a niche interest that many other people don’t understand and sometimes give them shit for pursuing — feel the need to express how much they Don’t Get Itâ„¢ when I pursue a different type of niche-specific obsession. FFS, people, look in the mirror.

    Maybe they’re concerned that you will chip a tooth?

    As for me, I sort of get that it is an art piece, I’m just sick of seeing it. You’ve made your point, can we please get back to the “niche interest” that this website is supposedly dedicated to?

    can we please get back to the “niche interest” that this website is supposedly dedicated to?

    The niche interest that this website is dedicated to is, frankly, me and whatever’s on my mind. That’s always been the case and it will continue to be the case.

    If you don’t like the grommets, I hear browser windows have scroll functionalities now.

    The naysayers just don’t get it. I for one want to see more pictures of foods with grommets in them. Mortadella seems like an obvious choice.

    Absolutely. I can think of many terrific puns on “grommet,” but none is as elegant as Hole Foods.

    Also, Hole Foods offers a more natural fit for the little punched-out hole/divots. As far as art, the whole metal-grommets-in-food thing seems to me just barely a rich enough idea for a single really good visual work. Repetition makes the mechanics of the thing more apparent to me, and surfaces the literal reality of the exercise while diluting any metaphoric or symbolic aspects. That is, to this critic, it’s a thin idea that gets boring really fast. But the tiny pucks of food, especially processed foods, now that is something that feels like it could benefit from repetition and variation over time. There are surprising elements of color and texture that reveal themselves in really interesting ways even in the couple of examples seen here. That’s, like, a whole new way of seeing otherwise overlooked familiar objects.

    Good critique, but it’s weakened by the convenient omission of your predisposed bias: You already told me a week or so ago that you don’t like utilitarian objects used in decorative contexts. Bias, bias! You’re so biased, man!!

    There’s a reason I tried to modify every statement there with the equivalent of That’s just, like, my opinion, man. De gustibus non est disputandum. Which may be especially apt when the “taste” in question can actually be tasted!

    I like “Grommet On It”, because why limit yourself to foodstuffs? Like you mentioned, you may one day feel like shoving one into your palm…

    Also, name aside, can someone please make a GIF of an infinite regress of a grommet with a grommet on it, with a grommet on it etc.?

    The Condiment Bowl was especially sad way for the Rams to go out of St Louis (possibly) when the Rams came in with sweet unis. Hard game to watch last night for my eyes.

    Be careful of developing grommetitis!

    Name your grommet wallace and the account “wallace the grommet” (like the wallace and gromit program

    Hot Grommet! Grommet to Hell! OK, I’ll just show myself out. With the Seton Hall throwbacks (and uni collars in general,) what so darn hard about having having complete collars? #nototoiletbowlcollars

    I’m a big fan of Gromm-It but my suggestion is,


    In the capitalistic world we live in where people are trying to cash in, it is refreshing to see someone who is trying Grommetize instead of monnetize.

    I actually met Graham Kerr in 2003. We were both on the judging panel for a cooking competition at Johnson & Wales (a culinary school in Rhode Island). I had grown up watching his TV show and was excited to meet him, but he was kind of annoying in person.

    All that aside, “Grommeting Gourmet” isn’t bad! Although I wonder how many people under 40 have heard of the Galloping Gourmet….

    I came up with Halley’s Grommet, too (along with Projectile Grommeting and a bunch of other puns that are fun for a few seconds but don’t really work once you stop and think about them).

    Always fun when my wife walks in while I’m watching these Color Rash games.

    Last night’s comment: “Now that’s just silly!”
    She went on to mention ketchup and mustard of course.

    She was especially tickled when the announcer mentioned that “…ketchup would be receiving the second half kickoff.”

    Love the color rash highlights.

    When my wife saw color rash for the first time last night she asked “what’s the deal with the uniforms? It looks like a foosball game.”

    The Gamut of Grommet?

    Also, instead of snowflake nets, the NBA should totally use those icicle christmas lights to complete the theme.

    +1 for Hole Foods.

    PS- eagerly awaiting the post of your X-Rays after you absent-mindedly consume said grommets that are now stuck into all of your food. =-)

    CSKA Sofia is from Bulgaria, not Hungary.

    That video is horrifying; how do those flares not pose a hazard to those supporters?? You’ll never see that in MLS-land, that’s for sure! [waits for someone to respond by posting a clip of a similar stunt in an MLS game.]

    Spotted in the not-so-wilds of the Connecticut suburbs: A taller (than my 6′), fit, younger (than my middle age) man than I wearing a black warmup jacket with green trim and a big white “CA”, with a little swoop near the bottom, on the left chest. Under that in green stitching was “Redwoods”.

    Quickly, my Uni-Watch training kicked in. This was from the late UFL’s California Redwoods! I discreetly glanced at the fellow but wasn’t going to ask him anything.

    Per the wiki, the Redwoods were in the UFL for 2009 only, and became the Sacramento Mountain Lions.

    I know the UFL merchandised some, or tried to, but aren’t the chances of this being anything but team issue pretty much nil?

    And how often does this happen to other Uni-Watchers?

    Rams color rush uni would actually be an upgrade from current set if they paired it w/ white pants and blue top socks. Kinda like the 94′ throwbacks.

    As is the problem with pretty much the entire set of color rush uniforms (except the Bills, those are beyond repair). Throw in contrasting socks, and they’re all greatly improved.

    I’m sure the Color Clash games were created to appeal to a new demographic, possibly soccer fans or a more international crowd. The limited availability of broadcasts and the fact Thursday is not a traditional pigskin day contribute to the experimental feel. Getting sticks-in-the-mud like us to grouse about it only feeds the beast.

    I get why they do the color rush games. They’re making TNF an event. So it’s genius marketing. People are giving it attention and young males are seeing it everywhere and buying it up. Bright colors are in it seems. At least in urban areas. The attention culture. When people make fun of it they’re greasing the wheel. I’m going to assume next year because of this that the Bengals will get orange pants. Then they’ll probably wear the current orange top. That jersey alone is pretty loud. Pairing it with orange pants will make it explode. That is how idiocracy begins.

    Uh, no — it is most assuredly NOT “genius marketing,” unless you buy into the patently false notion that any attention is good attention.

    As for people “buying it up,” do you have sales figures to back up that assertion, or are you just going by, you know, your two friends who bought jerseys?

    C’mon man, look at the attention TNF is getting with this. People are buying it up and it’s obvious. I don’t know anyone who’s purchased these specialty jerseys. But I can see my twitter feed about it. I can see young guys wearing the bright colors. I can see the other leagues using similar tactics using bright uniforms for attention. It’s a business and TNF was an afterthought until all this. Buying into means more than just jersey sales. Now just because something is genius doesn’t make it good for me, or tradition. But it’s evolution and the NFL is using trends and styles to promote it’s weakest games. Not sure you understood my meaning. Having season tix to the NHL I see one off jerseys all the time. People like them.

    No way should the Bengals in my opinion have had orange pants. Every modification of their uniform it wouldn’t look good. The helmet is aces. The white pants are fine paired with the orange socks, and it works. the black pants only look good when used with the black jerseys, There’s enough color contrast with the sleeves and pant stripes that it wasn’t necessary. Their road jerseys use plenty of orange.

    Paul, you’re the one promoting TNF for the NFL. Name one time TNF has gotten this kind of attention. Pretty sure you’re not “getting it”.

    I’m not promoting anything.

    You’re looking at this — and, I presume, many other things — exclusively through the lens of business practices and market forces, which is a distorted and toxic point of view. You think all business practices are self-justifying, that all attention is good attention, and that success can be measured by whatever’s “trending”. All of that is false. But go ahead and keep thinking it if you like — it’s a relatively low-maintenance way of living (trips to the mall notwithstanding).

    Not trying to feed the beast. Just making a point since this is uni centric site. I’m 45 and a lifelong rams fan. The reason I fell in love w/ the rams as a child was because of their helmets and uniforms. The current set of rams uni’s was ok when they used the solid gold pants. I hate I mean hate the blue pants. When they go all blue it looks so bad, high schoolish. So to me the gold shirt and helmet worn last night looked great if used w/ white pants. That’s all.

    My first Ram game in mid- fifties in the Coliseum, the Rams wore yellow jerseys. Think that was their regular uni during the era.

    Grommified – kind of like “fortified” food with added nutrients, but in this case, grommets.

    A Good Source of Grommets.

    Grommetically Modified.

    I’m surprised to see so many of the T-Shirt Club photos on hangers. Is hanging t-shirts a thing? Why does one hang t-shirts? Doesn’t it stretch out the neck hole? It’s like I’ve discovered this whole new realm about which I’m completely ignorant.

    Its always fascinating to get a glimpse into how other people live their lives (one of the reasons I enjoy Paul’s “off uni” posts).

    You just discovered that some people hang t-shirts, a completely foreign concept to you (on that note, I only hang my “nice” t-shirts).

    I remember being blown away when I learned the twist and fold back method of closing a bread bag – the only way a childhood friend of mine ever closed a bread bag.

    Or this week, we had a vendor fly in to MN, and they were completely fascinated by the fact that we own snow blowers, and by the snow removal process as a whole.

    Fun times.

    Why does one hang t-shirts? Doesn’t it stretch out the neck hole?

    You say that as if it’s a bad thing.

    Used to stretch out all my neck holes until 1) I found a sale on colored v-necks and almost bought out the store, and 2) I cut off the collars on my remaining crew necks. Only ever messed up one shirt, and it was a plain brown one…I have a few of those.

    Got rid of all my wire hangers in exchange for some thick plastic ones. Still, 99% of the time I fold my t-shirts.

    I’d personally vote for “food-based trypophobia” but I doubt that’s catchy enough. So I guess Hole Foods is the winner.

    The thing that bugs me the most about the colour rush game is that there’s the kernel of a good idea in there. The jerseys have been pretty good. Coloured jerseys facing off against one another has been an interesting change.

    Put the Rams in white pants and the Bucs in pewter and that’s a great looking game. Similarly, the Jags and Titans or Bills and Jets a couple weeks ago.

    I’d say put the Rams in blue pants and you have a winner.

    The whole color rush thing could be cool, if it meant stripping white from the uniforms, but they need to use some damn contrast.

    I can’t speak for everyone, but I hang my t-shirts because I don’t feel like making the effort of properly folding them to put in a drawer. It’s just easier. It doesn’t stretch the neck that much, and if you’re worried about that, you just bring the hanger up through the bottom of the shirt instead of putting it directly in the neck hole.

    Money thrown down a hole, is more like it. $35 (plus shipping) to fold a fucking t-shirt? As Mike Tyson would say: “that’s luda-crisp.”

    No. $35 to fold TWO shirts. Plus, I know a guy in the shirt folding biz, so I can score free shipping! I can hook you up.

    Thanks for offering, but no. I one actually don’t mind folding laundry, and couldn’t justify the outlay for the nanoseconds in time it might save me.

    Those Bulls D-League team names are fuck awful. My reasoning is as follows:

    Great Lakes Bulls: Totally unoriginal, when I think of Chicago, I don’t think great lakes. I think urban.

    Heartland Bulls: While better, the heartland of America is NOT Illinois, at least from my perspective. Living in Ohio, we’re more of a “heartland”

    Windy City Bulls: JUST FUCKING CALL IT CHICAGO. for reference, here’s a few team names with city nicknames.
    Steel City Penguins
    Twin City Vikings
    Queen City Bengals
    It just doesn’t sound right.

    Even better idea – How about not calling the D-league team the same thing as the real team? Then they can be the Chicago WhateverTheFuckWeWantToCallThem, and there’s no name conflict with the real Bulls.

    Well, the D-League team’s home arena is about a 45-minute drive (without traffic) from Chicago so they shouldn’t be called the Chicago anythings. From that perspective, they might get something right with this.

    But it will probably end up as the Windy City Bulls. I’m pretty sure Hoffman Estates, Illinois has never been referred to as the Windy City.

    Living in Ohio, we’re more of a “heartland”

    How so? Please to be explaining.

    Michael Stanley is from Ohio.
    Michael Stanley sings “Heartland.”
    Ohio = Heartland.

    I would have loved to nominate “Grommetta World Peace,” but it looks like Hole Foods is winning. But as clever as that may be, isn’t it more than food?
    I personally got the idea to eventually cut a washcloth sized “towel” out of too-small jeans, punch a grommet in it, hang it up in the bathroom, and voila, it’s there to hone my razor on. One of these days, I’ll do it.

    I propose you take your grommet-ed olive loaf, swiss cheese, and two slices of grommet-ed bread and assemble a sandwich via a zip tie or metal ring through the grommet holes. You could put a sandwich on your key ring! How convenient!

    This Color Rash combo actually looked better in execution than expected. For both teams. I am one of the few that prefers the current Rams unis to their old ones. But I could see them switching to this set as long as they don’t go all yellow again. White or blue pants and contrasting socks with the yellow jersey would look great.

    Same for Tampa. Keep the jersey and ditch the red pants. That jersey with white or pewter pants would also work.

    When does an eyelet grow up to be a grommet anyway??

    I wonder what the crossover point/size is. ???

    I think an eyelet is one piece with the flanges at the back that bend over, whereas a grommet is two pieces. But I could be wrong.

    The Bucs’ Color Rash jersey is actually better than their current colored jersey, IMO. I’m not sure why the throwback was the inspiration for the Rams’ jersey but I liked it. The Rams would have looked great with white pants. I haven’t been a fan of the Rams’ use of darker gold. I don’t care whether they stay in St. Louis or move back to LA, but the royal blue and bright gold still come to my mind first when I think of the Rams.

    I feel the same way about the Rams color rush that I did about the Jets, Namley, I like the jerseys. If the Rams wore the yellow/p from last night with blue or white pants I think I’d like the look.

    Apparently, another synonym for grommet is “cringle”. Which seems appropriate for this time of year.

    I like Hole Foods or Grommeting Gourmet, but just to offer a suggestion I haven’t seen yet …

    Lukas & Grommet

    I like “Grommet On It” or “On It Like A Grommet” (instead of bonnet, as the phrase goes).

    Of the ten suggestions listed in the post, I chuckled most at “Hole Foods.”

    Best I can come up with is “The Grommelier.” Not perfect, since I don’t think you can affix a grommet to wine the way you could to, um, pretty much anything solid. But it’s food-adjacent. Some related puns:
    The Food Skewer (sommeliers are aka “wine stewards”)
    some play on the word “Paring” (insofar as sommeliers are experts on wine & food pairing—yay homophones!)

    I had been thinking about olive loaf!

    Probably doesn’t beat some of the others (really solid suggestions) but what about:

    Meet the Grom-mets!

Comments are closed.