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Like a Phoenix Rising, or a Zombie Staggering, or Something Like That

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Heya — Paul here, taking a break from my summer break, in part to give Phil a breather and in part because I want to announce a big ESPN project that will be running later this month.

Here’s the deal: You’ve probably noticed that I tend not to engage much in lists or rankings — the 10 best this, or the 50 worst that, or whatever. I don’t do them because (a) rankings seem like the laziest, most boring, least challenging, least creative way to write about uniforms, and (b) that’s what Bleacher Report is for.

Recently, however, one of my ESPN editors proposed something so audacious, I couldn’t say no. He said, “What if you ranked all 122 of the Big Four teams by uniform? Every MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL team, all in one big ranking!” It’s a ridiculous idea, of course — which is precisely why it’s so much fun. You say it’s silly to compare a hockey uniform to a basketball uniform? You’re right! But we’re doing it anyway.

And we have the perfect name for it, too: the Uni Watch Power Rankings.

The project will unfold like so:

•  I will rank all 122 teams based on their home and road uniforms (and alts, if applicable, but I’m not including one-off throwbacks or other special-occasion uniforms).

• The full chart of 122 teams will be divided down into five sub-groupings: 1-25, 26-50, 51-75, 76-100, and 101-122.

• The five sub-groupings will be unveiled in reverse order (i.e., worst to first) over the course of five days during the week of Aug. 20. So I’ll have five columns that week. I’ve been promised that the series will get play on Page 1.

• Each of the five columns will be accompanied by a short video piece.

• Just to give some other people a voice, the MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL editors at ESPN.com will each contribute a sidebar explaining what they like and don’t like in a uniform.

• There will be some kind of poll, allowing readers to weigh in with their own choices.

• I believe the final chart will be sortable by sport, so you’ll be able to see the rankings for just the MLB teams, or just the NBA teams, or whatever.

• The idea is to make the Uni Watch Power Rankings an annual or semi-annual franchise. So the next edition, whenever it comes out, will include a plus/minus column to show how the team was ranked the last time around.

Or at least that’s how it’s all shaping up now. I suspect there may be some adjustments as we put everything together. Sounds fun, right? Wish I’d thought of it years ago. If I’m gonna do a rankings-based piece, I figure I may as well go all the way.

Incidentally, I wouldn’t mind having a photo assistant/intern/etc. for this project — someone with sharp Google, web, and Photoshop skills. What I’m looking for is a series of composite images showing each team’s home, road, and (if applicable) alternate uniforms ganged into one shot, like this. Maybe we could split it up and assign one person to each of the four leagues. If you’d like to help, drop me a line. You’ll be credited by name, and I’ll be happy to give you a reference down the road. Thanks. I now have all the assistance I need. Thanks to everyone who offered to help!

So that’s my big news. I have a few other tidbits to share (see below), and then I’ll go back down into my hole for another two weeks. I’ll come back for real on Aug. 23 — right in the middle of the Power Rankings week. See you then.

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Membership update: We had a big flood of membership orders in advance of the recent price hike (including Spencer Seaner’s card, shown at right, which is based on the Kingston Frontenacs’ Don Cherry jersey), but we’re almost fully caught up now, at least in terms of the digital designs. I expect to get 15 new cards out in the mail by the end of this week, so if you haven’t received your card yet, watch your mailbox. My thanks, as always, for your patience.

As usual, you can see all the cards we’ve done so far (over 1300 of them!) here, and you can sign up to get your own card here.

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I spent most of last week in Michigan, where my friend Matt and I attended the Traverse City Film Festival. Although I didn’t have time for a full-blown Uni Watch party, I managed to meet up with two readers who live in Traverse City: Jared Patz and his lovely wife, Krista, met us for drinks, and Jordan Owen was nice enough to take us out for a late-afternoon sail on Grand Traverse Bay on his excellent boat, Olin (which was well-stocked with food and drink, I might add). Thanks, guys — you made a swell week even sweller.

As for the film festival, it was great. I saw six movies, all but one of them documentaries (I didn’t plan it that way, but that’s how it worked out). One of the docs, called Big Boys Gone Bananas, is an extremely entertaining tale of corporate douchebaggery. You can see the trailer and learn more about the film here. If it plays in your area, see it — it’s really good.

Another highlight of the week was an impromptu stop at Seitz’s Tavern in Chelsea, Mich., which turned out to be an absolute gem. It’s also the only bar I’ve ever encountered where the featured food item is a limburger cheese sandwich. No way was I gonna order that (p-u!), but I can report that they serve a perfectly fine Coney dog. The proprietor, Randy Seitz, is a major sweetheart — go visit his bar before he finds someone smart enough to buy it.

But my favorite thing about the whole week was a visit with Matt’s friend Betty Brownlee, who has an unusual pair of pets: a big dog and a little chinchilla. And they’re pals — at one point the pooch gave the chinch a big lick, and the chinch seemed to enjoy it! Total cutegasm.

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Other miscellaneous stuff: This is the part where I remind you that I do all this other shit besides Uni Watch, even though most of you don’t really care, so you can just skip to the next section like everyone else if you want:

• My Show-and-Tell live storytelling series now has a logo. In fact, it has two logos. As you know, international merchandising law requires that every logo in existence must be available on a T-shirt, so I’ve done my part, as you can see here and here. If you want to attend Show-and-Tell, the next installment will be on Aug. 22, 8pm, at Freddy’s Bar in the South Slope. If you want to be added to the Show-and-Tell mailing list, just ask.

• Speaking of T-shirts, if a certain pair of theoretical designs were available, just hypothetically, you’d know what to do, wouldn’t you? Of course you would.

• No new Permanent Record content since about two weeks ago, but I expect to have more in the works later this week. As always, you can join the PermaRec mailing list by asking.

Okay, that’s it for me for today. Brinke’s up next with Collector’s Corner, followed by “Benchies” and today’s Ticker (which was compiled by Phil). Good to see you all again — thanks for listening.

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Collector’s Corner

By Brinke Guthrie

Our lead item this week is one that bears scrutiny. Look at the condition of this 1970 Chiefs/Vikings Tudor Super Bowl game. The playing field, stands, teams, goalposts, everything looks in pristine order. Not bad for a 42-year-old toy. Looks like they used a photo from the Super Bowl on the box cover — I’m gonna say that’s Bill Brown of the Vikes in that shot.

As for the rest of this week’s finds:

• I was a die-hard Bengals fan for the longest time, and I’ve never seen this 1968 poster before. Gonna send it to a friend who works for the team.

• Been looking for a set of early-1970s MLB mini-helmets? Swell — found ’em for ya!

• Look at this 1969 NFL Chiquita pocket radio!

• These 1970s NBA running shoes look to be in perfect condition.

• Here’s a terrific 1970s Philadephia Eagles Damac poster.

• Staying with the Iggles, how about this 1960s game helmet?

• KC Chiefs fans will flip over this Jan Stenerud game jacket.

• Got some Chicago Bears-related stuff here. Wanted to include this Dick Butkus photo for two reasons: One, he’s smiling. Two, look at the facemask setup. Next, here’s an early-1970s helmet buggy, and
a thermal mug from the same period.

• Here’s an item that combines two brands that no longer exist: an Enron-sponsored Pacific Bell Park snowglobe!

• Finally, had to include this shot of Johnny Bench’s Cincinnati Mt. Adams bachelor pad. Got the requisite acoustic guitar for strumming those sensitive James Taylor ballads, the modular sofa, and the best part, the chess board rug. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say JB didn’t play a lot of chess.

Seen something on eBay or Etsy that you think would make good Collector’s Corner fodder? Send your submissions here, and you can follow Brinke on Twitter and Facebook.

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“Benchies” first appeared at U-W in 2008, and has been a Saturday & Sunday feature here for the past two years.

. . . . .

“Funny, he doesn’t look Druish”—Barf in SPACEBALLS (sorta)…

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Uni Watch News Ticker: We’ll have more on this (below) and in the coming days, but Paul has whipped up a quick ESPN post on the Maryland and Nebraska uni hijinx for this fall. … “ND Coach Kelly Gear Trunk for Ireland” (h/t to Warren Junium). … Timothy Raines (no relation to the former ballplayer) has a really interesting sports art style and is currently running a Kickstarter project to fund a series of his prints for MLB. … Here’s a good reason to get married — a wedding cake with a headspoon! (thanks to Thomas Qualls). … Jeremy Posner and his wife took their kids to Coney Island Sunday for a day capped off by Johan Santana’s rehab start against the Auburn Doubledays (Nationals A-ball affiliate). “From our seats behind the visitors’ dugout, I noticed that there was some inconsistency among the uniforms. About half the players had the MiLB logo on the back of the jerseys, just under the neck. The rest had no logo.” … Depends…do you like colored sanis?: “This is a picture of me in warm-ups at my slow pitch softball game Sunday,” writes Ryan Deitchler. “My wife thinks I look ridiculous. I think I am the best dressed player in the league.” … Matt Savoie answers a question from yesterday’s ticker: “Saw this posted in uni watch Monday morning, ‘Dustin Kane writes, “Here is something I haven’t seen before on Alabama’s Freshman Cyrus Jones. On Photo’s 23 and 30 you can get a glimpse of this helmet which is something that just looks outrageous. It has a DNA Facemask but the Shell appears to be a Revospeed Rawlings sort of crossbreed and I can’t make heads or tails of it, any info on this?’. I wanted to give you some quick feedback. This is the Schutt Vengeance DCT. A new helmet for the 2013 season. If you get a minute check out www.schuttsports.com and you can check out the helmet.” … Awful — just awful: Maryland has more new uniforms. Too many readers to count pointed this out. … George Chilvers says, “‘Minnie Mouse’ jerseys don’t go down well in Huelva.” … “Zebra News” says Paul. This means a woman will work the preseason game between the Green Bay Packers and San Diego Chargers (ESPN, 8 p.m. ET). … “Custom Reds sneaker from Nike,” says Brice Wallace (Down a little ways on this blog). … Michael Ehrlich notes, “adidas and the University of Wisconsin yesterday unveiled new TECHFIT football uniforms that the Badgers will wear on Sept. 29 when they visit the Nebraska Cornhuskers for the first “Unrivaled Game,” an annual matchup of top adidas programs. Check out a close look at the new uniform here.” I don’t know about you, but those are growing on me — in a good way. Here’s another video on that (with thanks to Geoff Poole). And a few more pics. … “Looks like a team made up of Russian all-stars to benefit the Locomotiv plane crash squad took the Dallas Stars logo outright — you’ve probably seen this already” (good spot by Alexis Melendez). NYTimes Logo-creeping Jesse Owens: “This is a cool graphic, but why does the accompanying video have to slap a swoosh on US sprinters going back to 1896?” asks Andrew Gramm. Ethan Hall also sent that in and asked, “The first time I watched it, I was questioning what I saw: ‘Is that a Swoosh on Jesse Owens?’ The second time I watched it, I noticed Bolt wears Puma. And his animated runner seemed to have a Puma logo. I can’t watch it a third time. What do you guys think?” … Stephen Walker has an awesome submission: “I’m fortunate enough to live near Durham NC and I love going to see the Durham Bulls play. Sunday was their negro league throwback night which consisted of: 1) a pregame ceremony to honor former players from the local negro league teams, and 2) Throwback uniforms for both teams!” … UGH: Chris Mahr notes UTEP Gets All-Orange Uniforms for Oklahoma Game. … There’s a story in yesterday’s Houston Chronicle about the new helmets the Houston Cougars will be sporting in 2012 (credit Paul B. Kennedy). … Western Illinois University Joe Ringham notes, “WIU changed up the football uni’s some for this season. This was the old uni, this is the new look, unveiled on their Media Day. And, to go along with the new uni’s, a new helmet design as well.” … “I found this image of a Phillies jersey that was used in Spring Training but not in the regular season. I’m quite certain I’ve seen this jersey before, but I can’t recall the source” (James Ashby). … Interesting — for the team that “never” wears the same uniform twice, The 2012 green Oregon football jersey is the same as the 2012 Oregon Rose Bowl jersey (thanks to Walter Ford). … Terry Duroncelet says, “Hard to see, but my local news station (WVUE-TV DT, Ch. 8 New Orleans) used the Cardinals’ old logo/ helmet when they were covering the Saints’ HoF game win over AZ Sunday night. Easy mistake, as the logos are very similar, but still, Just passing this along.” … Welcome Neil Farmer and his first ticker submission: “My Alma Mater, James Madison University, seems to be joining in on the matte helmet fad. I think they look pretty good.” … Nice summer catch by Frank Bellavia, who writes, “Like you, I enjoy the throwback uniforms and miss the days when players wore stirrups. I just got back from vacationing on Cape Cod and took in a bunch of Cape Cod Baseball League games. For the most part, uniforms are your everyday run of the mill unis. Except for the defending champs, the Harwich Mariners. There home uni is a thing of beauty, and everyone on the team wears stirrups.”

 
  
 
Comments (158)

    Awesome idea!

    Please rank my Calgary Flames dead last. Their shoulder flags and nonsensical striping bug me to no end.

    I would hope the Blues are down toward the bottom as well, for those stupid Bettman stripes and those clownishly oversized shoulder panelss.

    Hey Neil! As another JMU alum I *think* I like the matte helmets, but I’m not quite sure yet. New helmet logo too??? Wondering how much change there really will be.

    I’m thinking they’ll still have the same logo as before on the new helmets. I’m also guessing they’ll be updating the white away jerseys to the same template as the new purple home jerseys they got last year because they had last years white jerseys auctioned off this spring/summer.

    If/when the NBA goes forward with the uni advertising plan, all 30 of its teams will go to the bottom of the rankings.

    But that’s a concern for next time, not this time.

    I just hope points are given for having city name somewhere on the jersey. One thing that always bothered me about the Rockets’ current set is that you had to get an alternate before Houston showed up on the uni. Lakers also suffer from this. Knicks are the other extreme.

    points should also be deducted for having the city name somewhere on the HOME jersey, IMO. hello “vancouver” canucks especially…

    I can see that. I think exceptions need to be made though for instances like the Detroit Tigers home jerseys. I like the single initials like on the Tigers’ or the Yankees’ NY. There are some that just don’t need to be changed. For example, I think I’d have problems with changing the Canadiens’ jerseys in any significant way.

    The Padres should be #122 because they’re not in BROWN.

    What about all the new NFL unis, tho? Will there be enough new pics for that portion?

    What about all the new NFL unis, tho? Will there be enough new pics for that portion?

    Gonna be tricky. I’ll have to work from a combination preseason pics and pics from the unveiling. Imperfect, but whaddaya gonna do.

    Will the rankings be sortable by city/market like the “most livable Uni city” column from a few years back?

    I hope there will be a patch / no patch double rating. i.e. the bulls jersey is ranked 24 as it stands, but once there is a 2.5 x 2.5 inch sears patch, it is tied for 122 with the other nba jerseys.

    Technical nitpick: if the entire NBA is tied for last, then it would be a tie for 93rd place. Which for a lot of NBA teams will actually be a numerical promotion.

    There really shouldn’t be any ties anyway. Obviously, if the NBA goes through with this crap, then they’ll make up the bottom 30, but there’s still room for actual rankings among them – a team with an ad that’s color coordinated should be higher than a team with an ad that isn’t. Think Bulls with a red Coca-Cola patch vs the Celtics with a bright blue Ford one. They both sorta suck, but the one is far less obnoxious than the other.

    Dirty secret: I actually don’t mind a well-themed uni ad. As in, back when Newcastle United was sponsored by Newcastle Brown Ale, that might be my favorite sponsored soccer jersey of all time.

    Or maybe I just have a thing for combining teams I like with beers I like, and the Newcastle/Newcastle thing is just a coincidence within the genre.

    But either way, it’s the one-in-a-thousand exception to the general rule that all uni ads suck.

    I agree, not so much with the naming of the sponsors, but rather that the color of the ad coincide with the color of the uniform. Don’t be slapping a master card ad on the celtics uniforms, etc.

    Secondly, I think ranking all NBA teams 93-122 because they have ads is a cop out. It’s a very Page 2 thing to do but it ultimately avoids the challenge.

    One of the great things about the Newcastle sponsorship is that the Brown Ale and the football club are two of the most beloved fixtures in that community. The short logo was more in the spirit of a sponsorship, and not an advertisement.

    Compare it to Everton’s longstanding Chang Beer shirt sponsorship, which is just sort of sad. (It doesn’t help that many Everton kits of late, particularly change kits, appear to have been designed by the inmates of a prison for the criminally insane.)

    Most of the time, there’s not that connection. The shirts are just billboards. The Newcastle shirt was unique.

    I’m not sure I like the new Houston helmets. Beveling makes it feel awfully busy. Interesting note about it being KC Chief red, though.

    And I know they’re the Leathernecks, but it still seems odd for a school in Macomb, Illinois to have an anchor on their helmet, whether it’s a Marine Corps reference or not.

    Funny how the ‘new’ logo and color of the Houston helmet is actually an older Riddell model (VSR4) while the ‘old’ logo and color Houston helmet is a newer Riddell model (360).
    BTW, I prefer the throwback logo they wore last year along with the KC Red helmet.

    I’m looking at that NY Times video of the sprinters, and I must be going blind because I can’t find any Nike Swooshes. I see the Puma logo on Usain Bolt, but that’s it.

    There are Swooshes aplenty. They are on the model sprinters and not the actual photo of a particular runner.

    Regarding Johnny Bench’s apartment, “Got the requisite acoustic guitar for strumming those sensitive James Taylor ballads”, not quite. Bench was a guest on Hee-Haw a few times in the 1970’s…and that guitar is a Buck Owens Acoustic model. See here: link.

    Also, here’s a clip of Bench singing on Hee-Haw ca.1972: link

    Cheers!
    ~B

    Not just any acoustic guitar but a Buck Owens model. One of those red, white, and blue beauties he used on Hee-Haw.

    Natitude is taking the nation by storm!
    Even folks in Michigan have Natitude!

    Go Nats!

    May this be as close to a championship as that franchise ever gets:

    link

    I wonder where that banner is today? Nationals Park?

    Mais c’est vrai, mon copain: meilleure equipe du baseball. J’attends octubre!

    Go, Nats!!

    “octubre”?

    wait…the nationals were established in 1905…that team who plays in minnesota now DID NOT win a world series in 1924, and frank howard never played for the franchise that currently plays in texas

    les expos?

    they never existed

    any baseball played in warshington is one, solid, continuous franchise … during the 34 years when no team actually played in warshington, that was like the bobby ewing dallas year

    Says a guy who obviously has no idea how the Nationals actually treat baseball history. Or how the Twins and Rangers do either, for that matter. The Nats do a better job of acknowledging the discontinuity of baseball in Washington than the Twins or Rangers do of acknowledging their own respective Senators pasts.

    Which I say as a Twins fan first and foremost who’s quite thin-skinned about historical propriety. I was ready to jump all over the Nats on behalf of my Minnesota pride after that “Est. 1905” BS, but aside from that bone-header (perpetrated by MLB, mind you, which is to say Bud Selig, not the team’s current ownership, which you can kind of tell because it didn’t even make sense on its own twisted logical terms, what with the “Nationals” name actually originating in 1859) the Nats have been highly respectful and generally quite careful in maintaining the distinction between the different eras of Washington history that did not involve the current franchise. The Nats do more every year to acknowledge the Expos, and at this point give that history at least as much recognition as the Twins do the Senators, and certainly more than the Rangers or Orioles do for their pre-relocation antecedents.

    Heck, at this point the Nats are more consistent in differentiating between themselves and past MLB teams in Washington than the Mets are in differentiating themselves from the Dodgers.

    There are plenty of good reasons to bash the Nats – the chief one rhyming with “code raps” – but this ain’t one of them, no matter how much some folks want to pretend that the Twins organization gives a rat’s whisker about anything that happened prior to Killebrew’s rookie season.

    OK, my intended tone of mock-indignant ribbing didn’t come through there. Assume a bunch of little smiley-face emoticons up above.

    Except in the bit about the Twins giving short shrift to anything prior to Killebrew, which is true, and kind of annoys me. Shame my favorite team can’t show a little respect for its own history. Baseball in Washington began in 1956 as far the Twins are concerned.

    ah, scotty…i loves ya, and your logic ;)

    so, because the twins and rangers suck at acknowledging their own pasts, that makes it ok for the current warshington franchise to do a slightly less poor job? :)

    i don’t care WHO came up with that “Est. 1905” bullshit, the current team is doing nothing to distance themselves from it :(

    what bothers me most is the current franchise either refuses to or doesn’t deem it important to throwback to the beautiful uniforms of Les Expos but they have no problem appropriating uniforms from franchises they never were, as if history matters nothing :P

    i have no problem with them wearing Grays throwbacks (especially that uniform, which would look AWESOME as the nats uniform…in fact, some guy actually mocked that up for me for a contest a while back… :))

    but STOP wearing the 1924 (or any other year) sens/nats throwbacks UNLESS AND UNTIL they wear the expos at least once >)

    and retire those expos numbers permanently and don’t let any current nats wear them :/

    then…and only then, will i stop giving the nats shit for their faulty acknowledgment of history :|

    I meant “octobre.” You bastard.

    Is franchise amnesia the rule or the exception? Maybe the rule. Do the Braves memorialize Boston? Do the Orioles invoke the Browns? Rangers/New Senators and Twins/Old Senators? It took the Oaklands a long long time to pay homage to Philly, and I’m not aware of their doing anything about the KC years.

    I have to believe, Monsieur Phillipe, that the strength of your censure of my new hometown team has to do with the recent good fortune of the Nats and the contrasting free-fall of the blue-and-orange franchise playing at ATM Field.

    La jalousie, c’est vous.

    I agree with Phil that the Nats should honor the numbers that were retired in Montreal (grandfather in current players using those numbers). However, I should note that Washington (no “r”) does have a ring of honor (or whatever it calls it) behind home plate and up a bit where they do have Expos players up there along with Homestead Grays and Washington Senators alum. My bigger complaint is on the lower concourse where the pillars are covered with images of great players. But what does Ty Cobb, Hank Greenberg, etc. have to do with D.C.? They need to change it to players from Sens/Grays/Expos and maybe even MLB players that came from the District (if any).

    And “Natitude is taking the nation by storm!”? Except in Washington, D.C. where they have the 14th best per game home attendance when I checked a few days ago. The bandwagoners will likely show when they make the playoffs.

    As a Maryland alum, I like the new football uniforms… at least more than last year’s craziness.

    Me, too.

    Swap the colors on the helmet, put properly-sized numbers on the front, and I’d be thrilled to make those the Badgers’ regular road uniforms.

    link

    And can we please convince players and teams to stop modeling these game jerseys without pads? Those bunched-up shoulders look like garbage.

    This 122 team list sounds like so much fun I may just do it my self during a slow work day. Not for public consumption mind you, just for me. Perhaps I am a bit bias, but I would think most the NBA uniforms would be lowly ranked anyways.

    I did that one day in 2006 for MLB, NFL and NHL. Quite a few changes since then, but it will be interesting to see how PL’s list and mine line up.

    Baby steps. I’m a soccer fan, but I don’t think MLS is quite yet in the consciousness of the American public at large.

    A simple test: does the ESPN or NBC Sports Network ticker use the team nicknames or their cities? If the latter (such as MLS or the WNBA) they’re not quite there.

    To be fair, though, some MLS club names aren’t very flexible – e.g. FC Dallas, DC United, Toronto FC. Not sure what else ESPN would put for these teams since they don’t have a traditional nickname like Sounders, Whitecaps, or Timbers.

    A lot of “soccer people” use DCU for DC United, or TFC for Toronto FC.

    That’s also done across the world for different clubs; for example, MUFC for Manchester United Football Club.

    The early line in Vegas has the Canadiens going #1 in the uni ranking finals.

    Same line has the Minnesota Vikings ranked much, much lower.

    Canadiens high, not number 1 though. There’s the Yankees, Red Sox, Red Wings, Celts, Cowboys, Lakers, Bears, etc. You have to remember it’s Paul running it so the top will probably be all nostalgic, historic, etc. Hopefully he’ll throw some surprises in like the Arizona Cards, new TB Lightning, etc. (I’d say Jags but they’ve changed to garbage.)

    I have a feeling the Packers will be #1; just a hunch. The colors & the fact that said “no” to the NFL should clinch it. I have a feeling two certain Cleveland & Washington teams will be ranked near the bottom as well.

    indeed…the nationals’ and cavs’ unis suck

    i wish said list could include the hypothetical ranking for the mets pre- and post-black…(same with the blue jays)

    be interesting to see how many slots they move up between 2011 and 2012

    While I’m not a fan of the white-white-red, I think the new white-red-white link is vastly superior to ANYTHING they rolled out last season. In fact, I think I kinda like it.

    As a fan of a school with a very traditional uni set, I tweeted something yesterday making fun of those Maryland duds. But damn it, if they haven’t grown on me overnight. Below the neck, I actually think they are just fine. Overdone in an historical context maybe, but even then, not by much. I like red-on-white. That’s Maryland’s best look, IMO.

    The helmet? Well… I don’t know. They’ve had worse, especially last year. Honestly, the script “Terps” helmet they sported for years didn’t exactly set the world on fire. This new one isn’t something we’re accustomed to as far as helmet design goes, but in a vaccuum, it isn’t exactly terrible. Just… weird, maybe? Hard to put a finger on a good descrptive adjective for it.

    If the Fighting Turtles would just pick a look and STICK TO IT, I think people wouldn’t lay off of them some. Changing uniforms every game is Oregon’s thing, and anybody else that tries it will only be seen as a lame imitator. Best to pick something you like, however stupid it may look to others, and just go with it.

    Exactly my sentiments. I’d go a step further, though: The helmet is a good basic design. Its problem is color: the white base is just too distractingly bright to work with a decal treatment as bold as a state flag streamer. A black shell, or even matte red, would work much better than white.

    I’m actually surprised it wasn’t a base black, with black pants to go along with it.

    Unfortunately, as I type that I’m saying to myself, “Self… you know that’s eventually going to happen. Probably the red, too.”

    And since I can’t edit my above post, it should say “I think people would lay off of them”…

    Schools who change uniforms a lot are like teenage girls with bright blue hair: they’re suffering from severe inferiority issues, and their desperate cry for attention is just a sad plea for love.

    The exception to this is Oregon, who’s like the nice, shy girl who falls for a cocky dude on a motorcycle. he gives her lots of money, and tells her she’s pretty, and gets her to “do things.” Eventually, he’s going to leave her, pregnant, living in a trailer on the edge of town, but for now, she’s enjoying the ride and ignoring the whispers from respectable folk.

    The most interesting thing about the Maryland photos is the sidebar article, noting that John Mellencamp’s son is a walk-on at Duke.

    As enjoyable as seeing “Mellencamp” on the back of a jersey will be, I sort of wish his dad hadn’t dropped the stage name: you’d need wide shoulders to carry “COUGAR MELLENCAMP” on your back…

    I see your points about the white helmet shell, but I would be afraid the detail of the flag treatment might get muddled against black or red. Plus, when I think Maryland football, I think link, so it works for me.

    Actually, that’s not true. When I think Maryland football, I think link.

    At least if (read: when) Maryland rolls out a matte black helmet* with those flag decals on it, it will be an actual team color, not BFBS.

    *Actually, if I had to bet, I’d lay my pennies down on a bright metallic black helmet, like that car paint that I think is called “Spectraflash” or something. Or even with a slight color shift of black to deep red, like the “lava red” Ford used a couple years back. Just since matte black is getting kind of cliche at this point, and I assume the folks in College Park are into new-and-sparkly.

    I don’t see the point of the black & gold shoulder trim. What the hell is that for? Not wild about the execution of the helmet, either.

    Ok, so the Packers will be #1 with their green and yellow, and stripes, and the Rockies will be #122 with the purple. Shall we split the difference and say the Hornets will be #61 based on the “Mardi Gras” uni as it combines the green, yellow and purple?
    I can foresee hockey being top heavy as well, as many teams have stripes on the socks, sleeves and bibs.

    I could see hockey and baseball being top heavy, for the sole reason that those are actually full uniforms with plenty of design options. Basketball is a bit limited since you get shorts and a tank top. Sure you could pull some tricks like the pacers and the nuggets, but design options are limited. As for football? Basically it’s a block of color covering the pads up top, and a color on the legs. Although some teams do have classic combinations (Cowboys, In. Colts) it’s hard to pull off a tequila sunrise or a vancouver v-neck on a football uniform.

    This is a PL list. I was basing my estimations on known PL likes and dislikes, nothing else.

    Ryan Deitchler, unless you can’t, get yourself some of these and blouse them. See if you can score some in team colors. Then you’d be set. link

    I like to wear pants, and especially pinstrips, but every summer game but this last weekend has fallen on a 105+ day, and I just can’t get myself to wear pants in that heat.

    Thank God you do. I’ve been jealous of your ‘rups all season. I’m going to cave and get me some too. They’ll be nice to wear in the fall.

    Why all the different unis at that Durham Bulls Negro League throwback game? Did the players on both teams just wear unis from random Negro League teams?

    Ryan – those ‘rrups look mint. Don’t listen to the wife.

    I hope the other teams in that Cape Cod league are shamed by how righteous the Harwich Mariners look.

    -Jet

    “Did the players on both teams just wear unis from random Negro League teams?”

    They sure did, it was bizarre.
    There were at least 12 different teams represented and there were a couple of unis that were worn by BOTH teams.

    >>>There were at least 12 different teams represented and there were a couple of unis that were worn by BOTH teams.>>>

    That sounds CHAOTIC!

    -Jet

    Indeed it was but you can get away with that stuff in baseball. I really wish I had more pics. The Bulls first base coach was wearing a really cool Detroit Stars uni (with the blue placket) and one of the players was sporting a House of David jersey.

    in stephen’s defense, he sent a much longer e-mail that actually explained all that, but i was trying (and i keep trying) to cut down the ticker submissions for brevity — but that one probably needed to be a bit longer for context

    But even with all the different uniforms and styles, the home team wore white and the road team wore gray, right? I saw a game like that several years ago in Burlington, Vt. between the Oneonta Tigers and Vermont Expos. Both teams had a variety of Negro League uniforms from which to choose.

    RE: Wisconsin alretnates:
    LOVE: The helmet, the font on the numbers, and the double stripe on the pants.
    HATE: Everything else. The W on the front is still stupid for a modern football game. Not a fan of the Ravens unitard look created in the white from the below the shoulders through the pants. It may not continue down the leg to the shoe, but that doesn’t matter.

    I like the unis overall ‘old school’ feel but am opposed to the BFBS creeping in on the facemask (I would have gone with grey or even white) and the socks (while there is red there too why not go with red & white or better yet all white). The black cleats are fine as it continues the ‘old school’ look and I love the white laces hope that translates onto the field.

    So what happened to the huge protest thingee against the NBA having ads on the uniforms? I thought that was going to be on the website EVERY SINGLE DAY FOREVASZZZZZZZZZZZZZ until the NBA did away with the idea. (Snorts derisively) I haven’t heard anything about the NBA backing off the plan, yet you appear to have given up.

    What a bunch of gutless cowards you truly are.

    Pathetic.

    Really, gutless cowards? That’s rich coming from a guy with an alias, “Sporty”…..

    re: the Butkus photo. he is probably smiling because he just broke someone’s jaw.

    and as to the big 4 uni rankings: Oakland Raiders #1

    Honestly, I like the Wisconsin alternates, but I HATE how they are from the Nebraska alt template. My rant on the topic (which includes a link to my thoughts on the NU alts):

    link

    Paul,
    Instead of complete Worst to First, you should go Middle (51-75), Middle Bad (76-100), Middle Good (26-50), Worst (101-122), First (1-25) cause there will be just as much anticipation for the worst jersey as there is for the best!!

    “there will be just as much anticipation for the worst jersey as there is for the best!!”

    ~~~

    but then the next to last group (worst) will just be NBA unis

    I LOVE that idea, ranking the MLB, NBA, NFL, and NHL!!!

    Number 1 has got to be Montreal Canadiens or Green Bay Packers.

    The worst is probably an NBA uniform, I don’t know them all well enough but from what I’ve seen, half the league is worse than anything from the other 3 leagues, other than that, Miami Marlins, yuck!

    In regards to alternate jerseys, Paul, how would you treat the Sabres, Oilers, and Panthers? Would you discount their thirds, since these teams have retired them? Or will you count them with these teams, since they were part of the most recently played season?

    I’ll try to stay on top of what is current as of Aug. 20th. If something has been retired, then it doesn’t count.

    But the Nets are stuck with their NJ uniforms, since the new ones haven’t been unveiled yet.

    Oh, man, Brinke, I had that Bengals poster–and a few other teams– on my wall some (gulp!) 40 years ago.

    That was the style which preceded the more artful offerings a couple of years later…

    link

    The mayor of Buffalo, New York has said that he’s open to the possibility of a joint Toronto-Buffalo bid for the 2024 Olympics:

    link

    I thought the IOC didn’t permit dual-city bids?

    Besides, Toronto should partner with Detroit, which holds the Gold Medal in Olympic futility, having bid on the Games more often than any other city in the world. And, you know, lots of low-cost land for venue construction plus plenty of spare transport infrastructure capacity.

    Either way, I’m sure the IOC will be hugely impressed by the idea of adding the convenience of crossing the US border and dealing with Immigrations and Customs Enforcement to the in-Games logistics.

    won’t we just have annexed canuckistan by then anyway? no border troubles, because…no border

    Seems like there might be more challenges than it’s worth to stage events across a national border like that. Still, with the bloated monster that the Olympics has become as far as staging the actual event, I wonder if this may be the wave of the future? I see several metro areas in the US that are no more than an hour or two apart that might band together to bid. Not sure it would be the best idea for the fans, but if it keeps the cities from dumping billions of dollars in Olympics infrastructure, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Ok, they’d still spend *millions*, but still…

    The Atlanta Olympics staged events as far away as Tennessee.

    Glasgow, Manchester, Cardiff and Coventry are all venues for events in the London Games.

    Buffalo – Toronto is really a beautiful part of the world. There are worse places you could stage a massive sporting event. Like Qatar.

    Buffalo is only about 35 air miles from Toronto. If you’re going to pursue a quixotic dream, Buffalo’s a better fit than Detroit.

    FIFA has proven that multi-national World Cups can be successful, and Euro 2012 was a success. Maybe the IOC will take a lesson from that.

    Toronto kids (including a young John Candy) used to come to Buffalo to drink, because the bars in Buffalo are open until something like 3:45 AM. Strip clubs north of the border were either more liberal or more numerous than their Western New York counterparts: all I know is that when I was a kid, “going to the Canadian Ballet” meant you were crossing the border to go to a strip club.

    In the days before cable, Buffalo kids grew up watching Toronto and Hamilton TV stations. Mister Dressup. The sublimely creepy Uncle Bobby. The Friendly Giant. The Hilarious House of Frightenstein.

    Buffalonians both love and resent Toronto. Torontonians look at Buffalo with a mixture of contempt and pity. It’s a complicated relationship.

    Is it ironic to anyone else that the two schools that look the same every time they play tried to differentiate themselves from each other with one off uniforms that almost look the same?

    They don’t really look all that alike, though, aside from the fact that each has a letter on the chest, which may also be a stretch given the different treatments. They look a heck of a lot more different than they normally do.

    My point is that of all one offs to choose, both teams decide to base theirs off of the PTO (Periodic Table of Elements) jersey template?

    The article wasn’t very clear on what form the blue ribbon will take. It could be a helmet decal, or a patch, or what-have-you.

    So that is all? Still will be ugly as heck. The names on back has some PSU fans up in arms. See what this wacko says below.

    From a message board.

    Re: Names will be on the back of jerseys Reply
    Names on the back, cool. I guess our players should also start doing end zone celebrations, get crappy grades, sound like they’re illiterate in post game interviews, so we can be like everyone else. It’s what Emmert would want.
    8/7 3:25 PM | IP: Logged

    “so we can be like everyone else”

    ~~~

    sounds like they’re pretty proud of the distinction the school has now

    people like this need to really learn when to just shut the fuck up and take their medicine

    There are still plenty of nutty PSU fans. That are vocal. The embarrassed ones must be quiet I guess.

    The names on the back is really genius. They are going to be pummeled for the next several years. There’s going to be a bunker mentality in State College. They’ll need something to be proud of. Acknowledging the kids who tough it out, the kids who walk on to get pummeled in front of 108,000 people: they’re saying “these are our heroes. These are our underdogs, our Rudies.”

    It’s a great way to refocus the program on the kids. It’s all theater, of course, but it Makes some sense.

    “There’s going to be a bunker mentality in State College.”

    ~~~

    isn’t that what got them into this mess to begin with?

    I think the players who are giving up ever going to a bowl again (or in some cases ever going to a bowl) should at least get their names on the back of their jerseys.

    They are showing plenty of commitment to the School, if they weren’t playing for the school they wouldn’t be suiting up in Happy Valley come fall.

    All this crap about playing for the team on the front of the jersey is BS 90% of the time. That’s not to say that it doesn’t have an effect on the players, but UMD went from a 9 win team to 2-10 in the same year that names were removed from their jerseys and their uniforms were injected with 200% more state pride, so it certainly doesn’t equal more focused players.

    These players are clearly not selfish, nor are they focused on something else, because no matter the scenario, they are turning down a better option by staying at Penn State.

    Penn State should keep a simple look, but I think they should go with a Washington State type design (you know smaller USC shoulder stripes), add something but keep it tame, and if any school should add grey/silver it’d be then. Then again that’s a slippery slope, I think a new uniform design with grey trimmed numbers would look great, but we know that would result in a grey uniform down the road, and that would be wrong.

    I have a feeling each of the Chicago teams will end up being at least in the top 25, if not the top 10. Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks, Cubs, and White Sox all have great, classic uniforms. Undoubtedly one of the best uni-centric cities in the country.

    If I were making that list, the Blackhawks would be in the top spot without a doubt.

    The next list should be best dressed city, I’ll give you some of the credit when it happens Dylan.

    It bugs me when the Blackhawks go to #1. A very nice uniform is ruined by a man’s face on the sweater.

    I side with PL on the Native American team names. I feel similarly about the Black Hawks. (I understand all the sides to the argument. Real man vs. caricature, reverence vs. mocking, etc.) I’d just have a hard time wearing an Indian’s face on the best uniform of all time.

    Awesome idea Paul, can’t wait.

    I assume since this is ESPN, you’re required to put NY and Boston at the top?

    (Just kidding! *ducks*)

    All-Star logo is link

    It generally is a nice simple logo…just don’t know why the font is different for the initial letters and the rest of the letters…also why is the G lower than the rest of the word, but not the other two initial letters? Isn’t the whole concept of a font to be consistent? Otherwise just cut and paste different letters like a psycho would send a ransom note.

    Watching Men’s Field Hockey for the first time ever, and noticed something interesting. When a penalty shot(?) is awarded, the defensive team grabs a bunch of gear from behind their goal to help defend, including these giant masks…
    link

    I can’t think of any other sport where gear is put on and just as quickly removed for only specific times. This is one of the few things I still enjoy about the Olympics. I get to see and learn about sports I’d otherwise never get to witness.

    Not sure if this has been posted yet, but NY Giant season tickets will feature the Jersey and trophy from each of the 8 championship years the franchise has had. Pre-Season looks like Kieth Rivers #55 home and away.

    link

    Do those new jerseys from Huelva mean they are leading the mountain stages or something?

    Kansas basketball is on a European tour, and broke out some very red uniforms for today’s game against the Swiss national team:

    link

    My guess is that this is one of adidas’ generic designs, and has no relation to what the Jayhawks will wear this season.

    i almost never read any comments attached to an article, but for some reason, i did on this one…very interesting uni quote (take it for what it’s worth, since its from a fanboard):

    I’ve gotten used to KU being an Adidas school and I like the brand, but I have to say, it certainly hurts us in recruiting. I also have to admit that I think Nike has the edge when it comes to performance and innovation, and even uniform design. But where Nike dominates is with their reach and connection through marketing.

    I’ve done a ton of qualitative research with elite high school athletes for Nike, Adidas, Timberland and many other brands. The brand of Nike/Jordan has become such a huge part of their lives that it is a major factor in what school they will choose. Besides their preference for coach/winning history/fans base/ratings – most kids will care more about uniform design and whether it is a Nike school than education.

    Coach/Winning Tradition/Fans/Ratings
    Nike School
    Uniform Design/Colors
    Climate/Location of School
    Education

    Of course this isn’t always the order, but it is the majority of time. There is a surprising number of kids that will not even consider going to a non-Nike school. I am confident that if we go back to being a Nike school, it will make our coaching staff’s job a little easier in recruiting.

    the emphases are mine

    It plays into Paul’s “Kids love shiny things” take on current collegiate uniform design, doesn’t it? Nike seems to be the shiniest thing of all these days…

    Kansas’ deal with adidas is up at the end of the upcoming school year. No one will be surprised if Nike comes in with the winning bid this time. Adidas won the contract a few years ago by agreeing to outfit all of KU’s teams for free, while Nike offered to outfit football and basketball, and provide other sports at cost. So far, Nike has missed out on selling a National Champion, another Final Four, and an Orange Bowl as a result.

    From the Little League World Series Spoiler Alerts: This year’s jerseys and caps will be brush script lettering except for Japan.

    Jerseys

    link

    i know it was a tape delay (but i had conspicuously avoided any spoilers) … but that kerry/misty match was one of the best beach volleyball matches i’ve ever witnessed

    GO USA!!!

    america! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

    Anybody else find it odd that Gymnastics waited until today to wear the Flag Themed suits?

    I’m okay with having the different one for each day, but it seems like the America-themed ones should have been worn during the team competition. I’m glad they at least went with Red during that day (as opposed to Pink or Purple as they did during the competitions before and after), but the Red, White and Blue gear should have been on display for at least that day if you aren’t going to wear that theme everyday (I mean Russia’s colors were well represented every single day).

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