Okay, time to deal with the new Seahawks uniform. Here are my primary thoughts:
• I’m fine with the new helmet. The pattern on the crown doesn’t bother me, and neither does the wraparound logo. Yeah, it was sort of quaint how the old logo didn’t connect in the back, but that was because old helmets used to have a center ridge. Almost nobody wears that kind of helmet anymore. Form follows function and all that.
• I’ve never liked the neon snot tone. To me it’s a joke color, a “Don’t take me seriously” color. It’s the color they make the vendors wear so you can pick them out in a crowd. You wouldn’t want that color on your car, or your house, or your clothing, so why would you want it on your team’s uniform? Unfortuantely, there’s a lot of it on the dark jersey and the dark pants, so that combination — which is probably what they’ll be wearing most of the time at home — looks like a total clown costume to me.
• The white components aren’t so bad. The white jersey and pants have a lot less neon snot, which makes it easier to assess and appreciate the layout of the graphics on their own terms. The pants striping no longer looks like something out of the UFL, and ditto for the collar pattern. The team name on the clavicle doesn’t bother me in this context either. So if they ever actually wear the blue jersey with the white pants or vicey-versey, the white component should go a long way toward mitigating the problems with the blue component.
• The gray alternate: Who really cares. They can try to give it a cool name (the one they’ve chosen is too ridiculous for me to actually type out here), but the only real difference between the gray alt and the white-on-white uni is that the gray one looks like it needs laundering. This is the one thing a Nike design should never be: boring.
The uni numbers are kinda cool. You know, because of the background pattern. Provides the illusion of texture, which I dig.
We need another nickname. That little triangular-ish shape on the shoulder was clearly designed specifically to house the swoosh. Just as we came up with the term “Ree-box” for the annoying logo creep formatting on NHL jerseys, we need to come up with a name for this. The floor is open to suggestions.
Overall, it’s not the worst design in the world. Some good, some stupid. But the neon snot feels gratuitous and destroys a lot of the potential pleasure for me.
Two of my favorite things — meat and found ephemera, including the Armour Meats sales training certificate shown at left — come together in the latest entry on Permanent Record.
Uni Watch News Ticker: NFL adjustment that I missed from last week: Now that the Lions have adopted the Nikelace, they no longer have their collar piping. I’ve added this to the table from last Wednesday’s entry. … And an MLB update: The Giants’ have switched from nameplates to direct-sewn NOBs new headspooned road grays on their new headspooned road grays (good spot by Jamie Costello). ”¦ Three of the Rays’ four infielders yesterday wear wearing the team’s glorious striped stirrups. ”¦ MLB now has a new bare-handed hitter: Stephen Vogt of the Rays, who made his big league debut on Friday. Looks like he’s been going without gloves for a while. And like so many bare-handers, he’s a catcher (from Dave Krol). ”¦ The Syracuse Chiefs wore throwbacks for their home opener (from Rick DiRubbo). … “The Minnesota Stars, a second-division soccer team in Minnesota, introduced their 2012 jerseys on Thursday,” writes Jon Marthaler. “The away jerseys have a feature that I’ve never seen on a jersey: The numbers contain pictures of the team’s supporters’ group. They have a number of other fan-centric details, especially the away jerseys, which have the supporters’ group logo and slogan on them as well.” … This is pretty cool: The Padres have a kids’ group whose logo features a very young swinging friar. … New football helmet for San Jose State (from Andy Coffaro). ”¦ Key quote from this SF Giants roundup: “Rookie reliever Dan Otero will wear #87 on the trip, a spring-training type number. He said clubhouse manager Mike Murphy wants to give him #37, which was Chris Stewart’s number, but the new collective bargaining agreement requires number changes be approved by the commissioner. That’s to placate licensees who get ticked off when a player changes his number on a whim, sticking them with hundreds of thousands of dollars of outdated merchandise” (thanks, Brinke). ”¦ Sam Lam reports that A’s vendors are now wearing last year’s BP caps. ”¦ If you’ve been waiting for stirrups wallpaper, your wait is over (from C. Trent Rosecrans). ”¦ Browns beat reporter Tony Grossi says the team will have an alternate jersey in 2013 (from Jamil Smith). ”¦ It’s not clear if Lebon James has been wearing his headband inside-out, or if he’s striking a blow against logo creep, or something else, but his headbands have not had the NBA logo lately (from Barron Calvert). ”¦ Spectacular MacGregor Goldsmith label on this old baseball jersey. ”¦ The GM Renaissance Center currently has a Tigers logo on it (from Tim E. O’Brien). ”¦ Also from Tim: White Sox catcher Tyler Flowers doesn’t just paint his fingernails — he paints his fingers. ”¦ Benjamin Smith reports that the peanut vendor behind the plate at PNC Park has been wearing bumblebee-era Pirates garb. ”¦ Shortly after Saturday night’s A’s/M’s game started, Mike Rowinski informed me that Bartolo Colon was still wearing his Gloops ad patch from the series in Japan. I made that screen shot and then shot a quick e-mail to A’s equipment manager Steve Vucinich. He wrote back a few innings later: “I saw it just before your e-mail. Don’t know it got away from the authenticators in Japan.” This may be the first ad patch ever to appear in an MLB game on American soil. ”¦ The Sharks will once again wear black for the playoffs. ”¦ Jamie Moyer was showing a bit more sani than usual in his Rockies debut on Saturday. ”¦ “Last weekend I was in a shop that featured a late-1960s Tudor Electric football field in the window,” writes Michael Wissman. “For the helmets ringing the ‘stadium,’ the Browns were represented with the never-used ‘CB’ helmet (although the helmets on the little Browns players did not have the logo), and the Saints’ fleur de lis was completely different from any interpretation I’ve ever seen.” ”¦ Move over, George Brett: I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone put pine tar so far up the barrel as Robinson Cano was doing on Saturday. ”¦ This is odd: Topps is coming out with a set of bat knob cards (from Adam Jackson). ”¦ Kendrys Morales’s left-sleeve piping was coming undone yesterday (from Zach Adams). ”¦ We’ve talked before about the Knicks briefly using a Yankees-style “NY” logo on their shorts in the 1980s. In a similar situation, Christian Cisneros pints out that the Warriors were using a Giants-style “SF” logo in the 1960s. ”¦ ” After Jeff Samardzjia pitched a fantastic game for the Cubs on Sunday — and was subsequently shaving cream pied — this awesome tuxedo/jersey T-shirt was seen in the dugout being worn by (I think) Blake DeWitt,” says Chad Peiken. ”¦ ” According to the ModSquadHockey message board, the Flyers held an equipment sale this weekend, including a whole bunch of updated Cooperalls apparently made for the Winter Classic,” writes Chris Reber. “The story on the board is that Bob Clarke shut down the idea, but I’m sure Uni Watchers can find a better explanation than that.” ”¦ Illinois baseball is planning to wear a camo jersey that looks like a Bengals tribute (from Orion Buckingham). ”¦ Tiger Woods’s caddy must be a Rangers fan (from Alan Kreit). ”¦ The Pittsburgh Power went G.I. Joe the other day (from Yancy Yeater). ”¦ Brian Richter made some screen shots from old footage showing the 1952 Dodge City Demons — that’s a high school football team from Kansas — using white helmets for their receivers during a night game. As Brian points out, Alabama did this back in the 1960s. Quoting from the Helmet Project: “[A]t times during the 1960s, Alabama used white helmets on eligible receivers in games at night or when another team’s helmet matched or resembled [Alabama’s] in color.” ”¦ Man, the 1995 Birmingham Barracudas (CFL) had some seriously weird uniforms (from HHH). ”¦ You can now get the Orioles bird on a Maryland license plate (from Dan Cichalski). ”¦ David Traub is keeping track of the jersey and cap colors worn in every MLB game this season. ”¦ Our man Teebz is running his annual hockey playoff pool. “For the prizes, I have already secured jerseys, t-shirts, DVDs, books, and other paraphernalia,” he says. “No knowledge of the game is necessary — it’s all about picking a winner. And it’s free! Any questions can be sent to me through the links on the page.” ”¦ Kathy Kruger was driving past a church in Allentown, Pa., when she spotted a sign she knew I’d like.
Kicking the Habit, Day 7: Mission accomplished, people. I had a weak moment on Saturday, when I made a batch of mocha brownies and ate one of them, warm, right out of the pan. Reeaallly wanted to wash that down with some Diet Coke but managed to resist the urge. After that it was smooth sailing through the end of Sunday, which completed my soda-free week. Reporting back to y’all each day definitely helped — thanks for listening.
Will I keep going? Maybe. More likely I’ll go back to the way I used to be many years ago — having a soda now and then but not consuming it in mass quantities every single day like I’d been doing since 2002. Just knowing that I can go a whole week without the stuff — something I honestly wasn’t sure I could do — is tremendously encouraging. If I can do that, I’d like to think I can drink soda in moderation.
Looking ahead: It’s gonna be a messy week. I’ll be off the grid today (spending the day with my Mom, cuz it’s her 88th birthday, don’tcha know) and again on Wednesday (ESPN meetings in Bristol); I have ESPN columns running tomorrow (about women’s uniforms, in connection with the 40th anniversary of Title IX) and Thursday (about the NBA’s possible move toward uniform ads); and I have errands to run in Manhattan on Thursday. The upshot of all this is that I’ll be super-pressed for time and will therefore be much more selective with the Ticker. You can help by only submitting things if they qualify as real doozies. My apologies in advance for any submissions that don’t make the cut this week — thanks for understanding.