Jerry Glanville has always been such a blowhard. The whole “Man in Black” thing, leaving a ticket for Elvis, driving a replica of James Dean’s car — a shtick as hackneyed and cornball as that has to be earned, and anyone with a head coaching record of 62-71 hasn’t earned jack.
But Glanville and his shtick are back this year, because he’s the new head coach at Portland State, which unveiled its new uniforms yesterday. And in the year’s 9473rd-biggest surprise (right after Lindsay Lohan’s latest rehab stint, and in front of Karl Rove’s refusal to answer a subpoena), the team’s previous green-based color scheme has given way to black. (As an aside, check out the kid on the left — he’s wearing NFL gloves, which means they’re made by Reebok. A rare chink in Nike’s promotional armor!)
It could’ve been worse. According to this release, Glanville originally presented his own uniform design (also black, I’m sure), but that one was discarded after Nike came up with their design. “When Nike presented their new look, I realized I may be in the wrong business designing uniforms,” said Glanville. Yeah, because you probably wouldn’t have come up with quotes like this one, from Nike creative director Todd Van Horne: “We (at Nike) huddled together and said ‘there’s energy here.’ We needed to bring that energy very visually to the field.” Don’t you love it when marketers talk like that? Yeah, Portland State has energy — unlike all those other football teams, which presumably have, like, no energy at all, right?
Such bullshit notwithstanding, the most interesting thing about the new design is the helmet, which features a center spear instead of flanking side logos. The most obvious corollary is probably the Redskins’ old feather design — not a bad pedigree. I kinda like it.
As for Glanville, I’ll say this much for him: If the Vikings or Ravens want to hire him, I’ll gladly contribute a letter of recommendation.
Membership News: Scott’s been busy with non-Uni Watch work (that boy needs to get his priorities straight), so the membership gallery hasn’t had any new designs for the past few days, but expect to see more designs added by the end of the week, including some real doozies. Meanwhile, I mailed out two dozen membership kits yesterday and should send out about 45 more today and tomorrow. And congrats to new member J.J. Carton, who last night became our 400th (!) enrollee.
Uni Watch News Ticker: Indiana is memorializing Terry Hoeppner with a helmet decal (with thanks to Mark Fightmaster). … I’ll be interviewed tonight at 10pm eastern on the Face Off Hockey Show, whose principal, Scott Wasilewski, sent along this photo of NASCAR drivers Michael Waltrip and David Reutimann wearing NAPA-branded Canadiens jerseys. … “UnderArmour has made a couple of changes to Texas Tech’s football jerseys for 2007,” writes Aaron Dickens. “The jersey numbers will be much thinner than last season and the UA logo will be black instead of white.” … Oh my. … You probably saw this spotlighted in my ESPN column from last week, but just in case: UniformViolation.com is pretty damn cool. … Everything leads back to Bill Buckner (good find by Jere Smith). … “The Harrisburg City Islanders of the United Soccer Leagues Second Division have what may be the most useless names I’ve seen on a team’s jersey — they’re in blue here,” writes Chuck Nolan Jr. ” Also, Harrisbuirg has worn pink jerseys and Cincinnati (from the same league) has worn pink socks.” Ewwww. … The St. Paul Saints have added a black armband to mark the I-35W bridge collapse. It’s interesting that minor league teams are usually more showy and “wacky” that MLB teams, but in this case the Saints’ response to the bridge tragedy is much more restrained than the Twins’ gesture. … Speaking of memorials, have you noticed that the umpires have been wearing “SC” sleeve patches? That’s in memory of former ump Shag Crawford (father of current ump Jerry Crawford), who recently passed away. … The Thai police department is punishing slipshod officers with a novel twist on the scarlet letter (nice find by Matt Brosseau). … AJ Connelly notes that Terrell Owens “has opted for something from Jimi Hendrix’s wardrobe! Something needs to be done about this before Reebok spots it and make it de riguer in the NFL on Sundays.” … Someone broke a record of some sort last night. It had nothing to do with uniforms, so if you have strong opinions about the record-breaker, please post them on a more appropriate forum, not here. Thanks.