You know how it is. You’re thinking how something or someone is really gorgeous — magnificent, even — but then you notice that the something or someone has a teeny little visual flaw. And soon you get fixated on that flaw. You’re looking at that beautiful painting, or sweater, or car, or girl, but you can’t see the beauty anymore. All you see is the one weak brushstroke, the dropped stitch, the little ding in the bumper, the slight asymmetry in her nostrils. Soon the flaw has taken on massive proportions, spreading in your field of vision like a metastasized tumor, blotting out any trace of the beauty, until you can no longer stand to be in the presence of this abomination, this affront to all that is right and good. You tear yourself away from the something or someone, vowing never to look in that direction again, lest your stomach turn and your eyeballs melt at the very sight.
And yet you can’t stop looking.
That, my friends, is what’s happened to me over on the Chris Creamer discussion board, where there’s recently been some discussion of design flaws in team logos. Granted, most of the logos in question aren’t exactly masterpieces, but still, it’s hard not to fixate on the flaws once you’ve been made aware of them. Case in point: On the San Jose Sharks logo, the tape on the stick blade is only on the front side — it doesn’t wrap around the blade. Like, what the fuck is that?! And now that I’ve pointed it out to you, good luck not obsessing over it every time you see the Sharks logo for the rest of your life.
Want more? Okay, you asked for it:
• On the Hornets logo, the seams on the basketball are badly asymmetrical.
• On the Providence Bruins logo, the two vertical spokes aren’t parallel. (Okay, so this one is more than a tiny flaw — it’s more like a train wreck that you can see from a distance.)
And I’m sure there are more. Anyone care to ruin everyone else’s day by pointing them out?
A Few Orders of Business: First and foremost: Some douchebag loser who hides under a phony screen name and a phony e-mail address has been posting personal attacks in the Comments section. I’ve deleted them, but that’s no guarantee he won’t keep posting more of the same (at least until Johnny Ek gets back from vacation and blocks his access, which we occasionally have to do with malcontents, and which I really need to learn how to do without John’s assistance). My two standard rules still apply: (1) No personal invective in the Comments section, period. (2) If you see someone violating the first rule, please resist the temptation to respond (even if the attack was directed at you). Instead, just shoot me a note and I’ll address it. Just because some pathetic flasher opens his raincoat, that doesn’t mean you have to look — just keep walking.
Okay, enough of that. In happier news, I’m pleased to report that our friends at Distant Replays plan to contribute another $200 gift card for me to raffle off. Details soon.
Also: As I briefly mentioned last month, I’d like to convene a Uni Watch party here in Brooklyn on Saturday, February 3rd, which is the day before the Super Bowl. If you think you’ll be able to grace us with your presence, send a note to uniparty at earthlink dot net.
Uni Watch News Ticker: Logo Creep Alert from Andrew Lopez, who notes that JaMarcus Russell’s press conference yesterday was swoosh-sponsored. We’ve seen these lapel pins before on college hoops coaches, but c’mon, at a press conference? I look forward to all the Nike apologists defending this one. ”¦ Good note from Mike Forgy, who writes: “Went to my first Washington Capitals practice the other day and was shocked at the overwhelming colors employed. The goalies wore black, the defensemen wore white practice jerseys, and red, blue (teal?), and yellow were used to differentiate the lines. It was odd to see the Caps logo on so many different-colored unis.” You can see a gallery of his snapshots here. ”¦ A few days ago I mentioned the Granny Basketball League, but didn’t have any good pics. League director Barb McPherson has now helped fill that void. “The Granny Jamboree was held on Saturday. Fifty-three grannies turned out. Attached are some “action” images, but keep in mind, with no running and no jumping allowed, there really isn’t a lot of action!” ”¦ Ryan Hickox sent along some more pics of a uni-clad Dubya, this time from his rugby days, as seen here (top row, center) and here (note the telling caption). ”¦ Really good article here on the trademarking of team colors (with thanks to Uni Watch publicist Carrie Klein). ”¦ Eyewear note from Todd Krevanchi, who writes: “I guess Wisconsin’s Marcus Landry is trying to bring some of the Hanson Brothers’ old-time hockey spirit to the Big 10 this season.” ”¦ Here‘s another old pennant submitted by Craig Bates. Note that the batter appears to be hitting cross-handed (plus he’s, like, standing on a rock or something). ”¦ Good catch by Ray Gryder, who writes: “Check out the arrowhead logo on the helmet of the KC player from this photo from the 1963 AFL All-Star game, which was played in January of 1963. The Dallas Texans supposedly didn’t officially become the KC Chiefs until February. Perhaps the photo is not from 1963, but 1964? Plus the arrowhead logo looks stubbier than usual.” ”¦ Now that‘s a logo (from the 1960s Continental Football League, courtesy of Scott M.X. Turner). ”¦ Reprinted from yesterday’s Comments section: Good article here on the Blackhawks’ captain’s “C” designation (as pointed out by Michael Kramer). ”¦ Uni Watch intern Vince Grzegorek (who did a kickass job with yesterday’s post, no?) notes that Larry Hughes of the Cavs usually wears a headband but on at least three recent occasions has gone headband-free in the second half. “The Cavs were down by a ton at half in two of those contests, and Hughes had zero points in the first half of the other one,” says Vince. “Announcer Fred McLeod cleared things up on Tuesday by explaining that Hughes sometimes takes off the headband at half to change his luck or the team’s karma.” ”¦ Anyone who shares my love of striped socks will enjoy this short video (with thanks to Matt Parker). ”¦ And anyone who shares my love of stirrups will no doubt share my outrage that the word “Faux” is missing from [NSFW alert] this American Apparel ad.